Desperate For You
by strongenoughforyou
Summary: Katniss scores a one in training, what is she willing to do to get back to her sister Prim?
1. One (updated 03 27 2013)

******This is my first story, try not to be too harsh. :P**

**This story is rated M for violence, strong language, and future implied lemons. (maybe not... but probably implied)**

**Also I will try to keep the spelling/grammar mistakes to a minimum! Tell me if you see them, i feel horrible that i even had some in the first place! :)**

**I** **DO NOT OWN THE ORIGINAL STORY IN ANY WAY, **

**i made this story into my own and i changed everything pretty much. For example: Haymitch calling Katniss princess. If you dont like that, then dont read on. If you want things to be exact go read the book! I know it sounds really harsh but i dont want to have people read something they dont like!) :P**

**Give the story a chance ^.^ I swear it gets better :D**

* * *

"Katniss Everdeen" The words ring in my ear.

"No! No, Katniss don't go!" Prim screams in my ear. She's collapsed on the floor, crying uncontrollably.

I'm frozen, I can't move. It couldn't be me they called. It was impossible! Everyone around me is backing away; I'm all by myself now. The peacekeepers are coming to get me, just in case I try to make a scene. But of course I wont, that would only hurt me in the long run. I slowly march to the rhythm of the peace keepers and make my way up the stairs.

"Wonderful, simply wonderful" Effie gives me a smile and announces that she will now be drawing the boy tribute.

"Peeta Mellark!" The cameras zoom in on Peeta, he looks around in confusion, maybe he's thinking they meant someone else. "Yes, you young man. Come up! Don't be shy! I don't bite."

The peacekeepers escort him to the stage, he just looks at his feet. Its clear that there are a range of emotions going through him.

We're both on the stage; Peeta is trying to hold back tears. I'm void of emotion, all I can think about is Prim. How is she supposed to get by without me? Looking into the crowd Gale catches my attention and I give him a look, he knows what I want and nods. He leads my sister away from the crowd, Prim will be taken care of, and that gives me comfort.

"District 12, these are your new tributes for the annual 74th Hunger Games! Say hello! They look like two strong young citizens, you might have a good turnout this year after all! Wonderful! May the odds be ever in their favor!" Effie is too happy about this; everyone in the crowd is silent and staring at her. Sensing that the procession needed to be over quickly she decided it was time to leave. "Yes... well we must go! Your tributes have a lot to do! Say farewell!" As we are escorted away the crowd holds up three fingers, a symbol among my district.

The peacekeepers lead us off stage and we're put in waiting rooms. They tell me I have a few minutes where I can speak to my family, these are the last words they will ever hear from me. When Prim comes to say her goodbyes she's so hysterical that the peacekeepers have to pry her from me. But Prim is too flexible, easily getting out of their grasps. She runs to me and puts an object in my hand.

"You have to win for me, promise me you'll win!" Prim pleads with me. "With this you'll have good luck, you'll win with it."

"I promise I'll try! Oh Prim I love you, be careful out there and take care of mother." I'm still holding what she gave me and when I finally look I can't help but to smile.

It's a mockingjay pin; my father had given it to me as a child. They sing so beautifully, he said to me. He thought such beauty should be shared with everyone. I'm so happy Prim was kind enough to give it to me, I was sure that it had been lost years ago. I pin it to my shirt, its good to have something from home with me going into the games.

"I'm sorry, Katniss." My mother appeared from the corner of the room, I hadn't seen her there. "I'm so sorry."

"You owe Prim a good life, don't mess this up! Take care of her, make sure she doesn't watch the whole thing…" She knows what I mean, my death.

"I promise. I love you Katniss." We embrace in an awkward hug, but it feels good and I'm glad she came to see me. And with that she exits the room, I'm exhausted so I go over to sit down on a plush looking chair.

"Now, now, don't just sit there! We have so much to do!" Effie says bursting through the doors, she walks over to me and picks up some of my hair. "This just simply won't do. Oh, I caught myself in a rhyme, how avant garde. Ok, follow me!"

I start following her onto a train where I meet up with Peeta, we both give each other understanding looks. Neither of us wants to be here, nobody from District 12 wins, hardly ever. The only living victor is Haymitch, and he's not a good mentor; he can never be sober for more than a few hours. He's basically our town drunk, but when the Games start up he cant even be talked to. We never had a chance.

A few hours go by, I had locked myself in my room for that time. Peeta was talking to Haymitch and Effie about strategy for a majority of that time, and even got to get some good advice from Haymitch. Effie summons me to the dining room to have a talk and eat dinner. I find myself not hungry."Now, Haymitch is here to talk about your strengths, Katniss, how about you start!" Effie says.

"Well, there's nothing really special about me." I whisper.

"That's not true! Katniss can hunt! My father buys her squirrels all the time, and she always shoots them in the eyes!" Peeta shouts

"Well don't you think that's something you should have shared?" Haymitch hiccups, and then finishes the bottle of wine. "Look princess, you need to share these things with me or your chancing of surviving are cut in half. Be more like Peeta, at this point he's the only one with a chance. Lets just say if it was between you two i'd put my money on him."

I lose it, Haymitch is the type of person I want to punch in the face. He is so insensitive to the fact that my life has pretty much just been taken from me. I will die in front of everyone that I have ever loved, and everyone that has ever loved me. I grab my knife and stab him in between his fingers.

"You don't know anything about me!" I scream at him.

"That is mahogany! Really, Katniss you have no manners." Effie pouts.

"Now that's what I'm talking about! Show more of that spunk and you could win. Show the sponsors you're not one to be reckoned with." And with that Haymitch gets out of his seat and walks off to find some more alcohol.

"I just love the Hunger Games!" Effie shifts uncomfortably in her seat, smiles, and takes a sip of some beverage I've never heard of and walks away.

"I'm trying to help you! Can't you see that? You are destroying whatever chance you have at winning this. Haymitch needs to know these things, he can help you by telling the sponsors. You need to make them like you; nobody is going to like you if you go around being a total bitch. Sorry for the language but we both need sponsors, so please don't mess this up for me. I have a family I want to go home to." Peeta storms off and I am alone. I'm better off being alone anyway.

He's right about one thing, I am in desperate need of sponsors. I guess I've spent most of my life in solitude, not used to social interaction. Well if he wants people to like me, I will make them like me. He's not the only one that has a family to go to. I decide I should go to sleep, there's a long day ahead of me. An avox leads me to my room, it's the nicest I've ever seen. I lay my head on the silk pillow and fall asleep in minutes.

I'm woken up to arguing between Haymitch and Effie, something about alcohol. Can't they have some regard for others? It's not like they're going to be fighting for _their_ lives. I stretch out on my bed, my body desperately wants to go back to sleep. Somehow I will myself to get up.

"I think you're going to need some of this" Haymitch sits next to me offering me some alcohol. I had found a quite nook in the back of the train to gather my thoughts. I was just about to nod off again but then Haymitch decided to barge in.

"No thanks." I can smell the drink on his breath and it's repulsive. "Are you ever sober?"

"No, I like the feeling of being drunk. C'mon princess, you would drink too."

"Yes, but I need a mentor not a drunkard!" I chastised at him. "You need to help me get sponsors, and mentor me through this. The idea of me going into the arena is a scary thought, I'm scared Haymitch. I know you know how it feels and it sucks, you just want to shrink away forever. Do me a favor, sober up."

"I can't promise that I'll be sober, but if you're serious about winning I could stop drinking as much. Its just that I've never had a tribute that hadn't already given up. Every year, two kids die from our district. Do you know what its like? I spend days upon days with these kids, mentoring them and trying to make them ready and prepared. I used to form bonds with the tributes, you know. But the Games... they're so taxing on me. I don't want to see any more of my tributes die, but its a sad reality. If you win, you're going to have to deal with it too. It will drive you crazy. For me, alcohol dulls the pain inside of me."

Haymitch walks away, leaving an empty beer bottle behind. Its not that I haven't given up, I have. The fact is that I need to at least try to win, it's the least I can do for Prim. I promised her that I'd try. I get lost in my train of thought and drift off into a deep dream.

_"Youre going to die Katniss." An evil voice whispers in my ear. "Youre nothing."_

_I thrash my body to no avail; his grip is still on me. Admitting defeat is no option, I must win, I must kill._

_I throw my head forward, knocking into his. It's unexpected and I gain a vantage point. We're both circling each other, desperate to attack the other._

_"I am not nothing you dirty bastard." I lunge for his heart with my knife. He jumps out of the way and I land on my stomach. I can taste blood in my mouth and I know i've bitten right through my tongue._

_All of a sudden I'm lifted up by the hair, and it hurts badly. I am struggling against him and I can't move. He has me, theres no where for me to go._

_"I'd tend to disagree." And he slits my throat with my own knife, just like that. I'm not sure if it hurt, I think I might be dead._

_"The winner of the 74th hunger games, …" A voice echoes through the arena._

I jolt awake, I am covered in sweat. What a horrible nightmare... My end can't be like that, I simply won't allow it! You never go out with a fizzle; you go out with a bang. And a death like that, lets just say I need to put up more of a fight. I walk back into my cabin to get dressed, we are arriving in the capitol today.

The train pulls up to the capitol and I run to the window with Peeta, in the background I can here Effie screaming with excitement. The people dress differently here, like Effie. A woman walks by with a pink dog, how strange. I am speechless, this place isn't anything like District 12, it's everything District 12 isn't.

"Children! Children! The Capitol calls! Oh look at all the people that have come to greet you!" Effie is ecstatic, probably ready to get back with her 'type of people'.

The peace keepers come to collect me, they practically push me off the train. The Capitol is like nothing I've ever seen, strange people and clothes, its breathtaking.

I step off the train, and put on the biggest smile I could muster up.


	2. Two (updated 03 29 2013)

The peacekeepers lead us to a car, it's set to bring us to our living quarters. I'm actually excited, it will be a nice change from living in squalor. I just wish that my family could enjoy these next few days of bliss with me. The car pulls up to a tall ornate building, all I can do is look in awe. We arrived pretty late in the day, just as the sun started to set, this illuminated our surroundings quite beautifully. Stone lions greeted us at the entrance, very ominous. Being that Peeta and I are from District 12, we get the pent house. For once being in District 12 has its perks.

"Welcome to your new home for the next week or so!" Effie practically runs to the entrance of the building.

"This place is pretty sweet!" Peeta is all smiles.

"You think the bar is stocked?" I hear Haymitch grunt. Always thinking about the booze… how typical.

"Let's just get unpacked, I need to shower." I smell disgusting, the heat is too much and the stress I am under is immense.

The ride up the elevator is a long one, especially because we were sharing it with District 2. The stares I was getting from the boy tribute were terrorizing. I could tell that he would enjoy my death if he were the one to deliver it. He was huge, not just in girth, but in height. His muscles were defined, and large, I'm sure he could snap necks like twigs. He towered over me, I didn't show any weakness but I felt intimidated. For some reason they did not get off on their floor, much to my dismay.

I started to shift around, getting stares from Peeta. I mouthed to him, 'what's happening?'. To which he replied, 'I don't know'. Haymitch and Effie didn't even seem to notice what was happening, they were bickering with each other. The elevator was quiet, and that made for a fairly awkward environment. It was an agonizing journey we were all taking together.

The elevator came to an abrupt halt, opening up to our private floor. We all exited the elevator at once.

"Peeta, Katniss. There seems to have been some sort of trouble with District 2's suite, and since District 12's is so large… we shall be sharing it with them. The Capitol has made no indications of fixing it any time soon. I know you kids can get along, so don't make this difficult." I could see a hint of remorse coming from Haymitch.

"No fucking way." I quickly covered my mouth. "I mean, where will they sleep…" Hopefully on the floor, far away from me.

"Look, 12, we don't like this any more than you do." Barked the girl from 2.

"Do you think we want to be with the scum of Panem? I suggested that we take the penthouse and you take our shit hole, but they thought that was somewhat unfair. Unless you want to take me up on that offer?" The boy inquired, winking at me.

Before I could even say a word Effie was breaking up our soon to be fight. I'm glad; I don't want to be near 2 any more than they want to be near us. I'm sure the tributes from District 2 could sense my fear anyway. Haymitch probably didn't even know what was going on, as a matter of fact he was nowhere to be found.

"Children, save this for the Games! You will have plenty of time to tear each other apart! But I am so happy that are so enthusiastic to start fighting this early, this will prove to be an interesting games I am sure! Who knows, I could get moved to a new district as soon as _next_ year!" Shocked by Effies words, I look for somewhere to sit. I make myself comfortable on an oversized couch and grab some grapes to pick at.

The District 2 boy runs over to me, practically knocking me off of the couch.

"Hey 12, we call first pick on rooms. Though, if you want to share my room…." He points behind him. "I'd be happy to make your acquaintance."

"In your dreams, I'd rather die than sleep with you." I actually would.

I can hear the girl screaming at an avox for not putting her clothes away fast enough, how ridiculous. I don't know how I will get through the day let alone training! Why can't the Capitol just _fix _the problem? They're never good for anything.

"I could arrange that." And with a wink, he struts to his bedroom and shuts the door.

I mutter some obscenities to myself. Who does he think he is?

"That's Cato, a career. Don't piss him off or he will murder you before the games even begin." Peeta whispers behind me, he practically read my thoughts.

"That's not allowed! He'd be executed if he tried anything. How do you know him though?"

"You think they would? No, the Capitol loves the careers. And Katniss, I know him because while you were sulking on the train I was reading up on the tributes. It's going to be a tough Games without help from careers… we should start making alliances soon."

"I don't even want to be associated with them, they look _down_ upon us. They think we're nothing. They laugh when they murder District 12's tributes, they _laugh_."

"I'm just saying, if you get in with the careers you're almost guaranteed a spot in the final ten. We all want to go home, remember?" Peeta is getting louder, maybe he wants Cato to hear him. An avox stands behind Peeta carrying his bags to put into his room. "Think about it."

After walking around our new home, more of a mansion really, I find a nice room that I can see myself spending the next few weeks in.

"Over there." I point to the door, showing the avox where I wish to sleep. "Please."

The room I chose is far away from District 2, they would have no reason to stray off in my direction. I'm even far away from Peeta, truly secluded from others. At least I have a place where I can gather my thoughts. I like to think about things a lot, I'm trying not to make rash decisions anymore. With the Games starting soon there's no need for unnecessary error. I don't have to be all smiles if the cameras aren't around, I can relax and keep to myself.

"Katniss, everyone is ready to eat, where are you?" Haymitch shouts from across the hall. I hear a loud slap.

"We do _not_ shout!" Effie angrily says. "It's so unbecoming."

"I'm on my way!" I'm starving.

Arriving at the dinner table a few minutes later I can see that they could not wait any longer to eat. Cato and the girl have practically eaten a whole chicken, while Peeta has made a modest dent into his food.

"Thanks for waiting." I say sarcastically.

"The pleasure was all ours." The girl sneers. Tearing the meat off of a chicken leg.

"Now children, play nice." The mentor from 2 chimed in.

"Tomorrow you will receive a makeover, your prep teams will make you look like you're worth millions. Looking your best before the games is crucial, we all want sponsors don't we?" Effie went on to explain more of what would happen with the prep team.

"Well it's really District 12 that needs it, don't you think? I mean, just look at them. It's like they've never seen a bar of soap in their whole lives." Cato said mockingly. I hear snickering coming from the girl. "How about you?" Cato looks at me. "Have you ever seen a bar of soap?

"I'll have you know-" I was totally ready to throw a punch his way. Then I was going to find a bar of soap and shove it so far down his throat he'd be choking on suds for days.

"Stop!" Haymitch shouted. "I am _not_ drunk enough for this! After you get your pretty little makeovers you can fight each other, but not while I am eating!" He slammed his beer bottle on the table, breaking the glass. "Shit!" An avox scampered over to clean up the mess. Haymitch abruptly stood up and walked away. He has a habit of doing that.

At this point both tributes from District 2 have stopped eating.

"Is every dinner going to be like this? I think we should arrange separate meals. You know, for the safety of everyone here. I wouldn't want to accidentally strangle one of you. " The girl muses.

"Excellent idea." Their mentor says. "Why don't we retire to our rooms? I have much to talk about with the two of you." Cato, the girl, and their mentors leave the table.

"Thank God they're gone, I didn't think I'd be able to stand them any longer." Peeta laughs nervously. "What jerks."

"I think we should follow in their footsteps, it's been a long day. Katniss, I remember how you wanted to shower." Effie looked uneasy, probably humiliated by Hatmitch and us.

Effie is right, I smell pretty bad, and I said I'd shower hours ago. There's one thing I don't need, and that's the prep team scrutinizing me for my smell. Prep teams for District 12 are notorious for dressing us badly, sometimes we are even _naked_. I don't want to give them any reason to dress me badly. As of right now smelling nice is my top priority. I am not surprised that a cold shower refreshes me, not allowing sleep to overcome me.

The morning rolls in and I can hear Effie knocking on my door rather quickly.

"Katniss, your prep team is here! Don't bother getting dressed; they will do that for you! Aren't you so excited?" I'm thrilled…

They take me to a room on one of the floors that resembles a hospital. They handed me a robe and instructed me to put it on and lay on the table.

"Hello Katniss, I'm Cinna and that's Portia. We are your stylists! We are honored to be working with you! You were so brave, volunteering in the place of your sister! We have a look you will be stunning in for your debut for the Games, something that will show off your braveness. Well, now that we have introduced ourselves, lets get started!"

They start by washing my hair, in the seam I hardly ever had the chance to do that. It feels good to have warm water in my hair, and they make it smell amazing. Next thing I know they chopped off four inches of it.

"Hey, what are you doing?" I've been growing my hair since I was little, it's hard to part with it.

"You have so many split ends, to be honest four inches wasn't even enough in my opinion, maybe six or seven." A woman scoffs.

As if split ends matter in the Game. I can already tell that this is the start of a long day.

Pain, excruciating pain. I can hear the hair being torn from my flesh.

"Stop whining. If you kept up with a beauty regimen you wouldn't have all of this pain! I don't know how you're going to get through the bikini wax…" The woman says unsympathetically.

"A bikini what?" It didn't take long to find out.

Walking was pretty difficult after that, at least the stinging went away soon after. I met Peeta at the elevator and to my surprise he looks pretty handsome.

"You got waxed too?"

"You have no idea." I laughed for a good few seconds, at least I wasn't the only one.

"Katniss, you look really good."

"Same to you. They know how to make us look decent, and I think they might actually put us in nice clothes for the parade this year."

"I'm hoping that we impress people, you know, for the sponsors."

"I know what you mean." I press our floor number, being waxed from head to toe took a toll on me. At least the hair on the _top_ of my head feels nice…

Peeta goes off to his room while I lounge around on a sofa. Of course the first person I have to see is Cato, one of two people I want to avoid as much as possible.

"Hey 12, you clean up nice."

"Not interested." I put my hand up to his face and started walking away. I feel a hand grab my wrist, and pain shoots through my arm as he twists it. "What the hell, let go of me!"

"I think you should consider an alliance with us." He motions to his fellow tribute. "Clove and I think it would be a good idea." So that's her name…

"Correction, Cato thinks it's a good idea. I still think you're worthless. You're going to drag us down in the end."

"Would this be for Peeta too…?"

"No." Cato snaps.

"Then I will have to decline your offer, thanks, but no thanks."

"12, not a smart idea."

"I think I'll survive."

"Do you honestly think that? _Honestly_? I think you might be delusional." I can hear Cato laughing as I run to find Haymitch I need his advice.


	3. Three (updated 03 30 2013)

It doesn't take long to find Haymitch, he's sprawled along the hallway floor. I kick him lightly in the side, but he's unresponsive. The first thing that pops up into my mind is to wake him up with water, that's how mother always woke up unconscious patients. I run to the kitchen to fill up a bowl of freezing cold water and return to dump it on his face. It worked, immediately.

"God damn it! What they hell do you think you're doing?" Haymitch wipes the water off of his face.

"I started to suspect that you were dead. I was merely testing the theory." I set the bowl down on a table. "I have to discuss something with you, it's about the careers."

"Princess, as much as I'd love to talk to you, I need to change out of these clothes before I get hypothermia. Wait here." Water was pooling on the floor as he went to change.

I waited for what seemed like an eternity, it probably was. I finally decided to walk into his room, and it turns out Haymitch was passed out on the bed the whole time. He was still in his wet clothes too. This is just perfect, I finally have something to talk to him about and he can't give me five minutes of his time. I don't think he's going to be waking up for another few hours.

I wander out onto the balcony off of the great room, where Effie proceeds to badger me about my makeover.

"Well, they certainly made you look pretty. But you need to keep this up! The last thing I want is for you to have a unibrow when Ceasar interviews you. And brush those teeth! Bad breath is just indecent when speaking to someone such as Ceasar."

"The sooner we can get this over with the better." I just want to get to training, show everyone what I'm made of.

"Yes, I know what you're thinking. Training will begin tomorrow, and you will have a week to build up your skills. After that, we will find out your score. Lets hope it's above a three." Effie starts to giggle. "I think you have what it takes Katniss, you _and_ Peeta. I can't believe District 12 actually has a chance."

"The interview is _tonight_?"

"Yes, haven't you been listening to anything I've been saying? I must have said it about twenty times. Peeta has already been practicing how to respond to questions! Katniss, what will we do with you? Really, start preparing your response to questions, you don't want to be that one tribute who can't say a single word."

I retreat back into our home to look for Peeta, he can be of use to me tonight.

"Peeta! Effie told me you were practicing, mind if I join?"

"I guess. The questions are really geared towards me though. They wouldn't help you to be honest."

"Oh." Great, I am rejected by my own partner. "Well, I guess I should practice on my own then, see you tonight."

"Katniss wait." I turn to look at him. "They'll love you, don't worry."

"Lets hope that's true." I look down at my feet then leave to go sulk in my room.

A few hours later I am carted away to the hospital looking room again. I had been practicing my posture in the mirror, a lot of good that did. I can already notice myself slumping my shoulders again.

Cinna walks over to me, eyeing me up and down.

"You didn't shave your underarms did you…?" His voice has a condescending tone.

"No, was I supposed to?" Oh dear God, I've messed things up!

"It's not a problem, as long as you don't forget again, your dress has sleeves. Tonight is very, very, special. We will be showing you off to the Capitol, and sponsors will be watching. We are going to dress you in something that District 12 has never seen. It's a surprise, but a very beautiful one.

Next thing I know I am being undressed and forced into a form fitting white dress. It goes down to the floor, and then some. It's actually very beautiful, it's the nicest thing I've ever worn. My makeup is silver and my eyes stand out, Cinna tells me that I look like a goddess. I board the chariot that we will be shown off in during the parade, Peeta is waiting for me. He is dressed in an all white suit, you'd never guess that we came from dirt and grime.

An announcement goes off that the tributes will now be proceeding to their interviews, I'm not ready for this. I remember that Effie told me to smile and wave to the crowd, but I really want to cower in the corner. District 1, District 2… then all of a sudden its District 12. The chariot takes off.

I feel like my smile is too fake, they can definitely tell I'd rather be anywhere but here. But then again everything and everyone seems to be fake in the Capitol. What if Ceasar notices? Oh I'm in for it! My dress flows in the air and I feel like I'm glowing. I even remember to stand up straight.

Randomly Peeta takes my hand, and I find comfort in the fact that we're in this together. We raise it up high, showing that were ready to work hard and stick with each other. The crowd roars. They're screaming our names, _our names_, its magical.

We are whisked away back stage; the prep team rushes over to fix my hair and makeup. I really don't see what was wrong but apparently I had something called flyaways. I can see Cato being interviewed, cocky as ever. Then, suddenly, Ceasar asks what he thinks of the competition so far and whom his alliances might be with.

"Well that's a great question Ceasar, obviously Distict 1 and 4 for starters. But I've got my eye on a certain tribute." As if he could tell that I was giving him a death stare he looks my way and winks. Nobody seems to notice who he winked too, I am in shock.

"Could you inform the crowd on who this tribute is?"

"I'd love to, but for now I'm waiting to see their training score."

"Wise decision, you don't want to rush into anything when it comes to the Games! I'm afraid that's all the time we have for now, Cato, may the odds be ever in your favor."

"Why thank you Ceasar, it's been a pleasure."

Cato is walking off from his interview when I pin him to a wall.

"I am not going to be in your little pack Cato." I growl.

"Oh I didn't know you liked it rough Katniss, what a coincidence," He has a huge grin on his face. "I do too."

"What? Ugh, no Cato." I let him go. "Cut it out, learn what the word no means."

"We'll see how this works out." He chuckles. "Your interview is coming up, don't be too nervous." And all of a sudden I am.

Minutes seem to drag on until finally Peeta is called. I wish him luck, an he does the same for me.

"Peeta! How are you? Are you enjoying the Capitol so far?"

"Yes! It is so nice here, nothing like back home. I do miss it though, my home."

"Maybe you can go back soon, if you win the Games. Do you think you can win the Games?"

"I think I have what it takes, but I also think there's someone else here who does too."

"Do tell."

"It's a secret!" He blushes.

"What is it with secrets today? Secrets are no fun, unless they're shared with everyone!" The crowd bursts into laughter.

"Well, she's really beautiful. Her name is- um, I can't say right now. Sorry!"

"You have to tell us! You can't leave us begging for more like that!"

"I'm afraid that's going to have to happen, it seems that my time is up anyway!"

"Time does fly by fast, well, lets hope this mystery girl makes it far with you! Peeta Mellark, everyone!"

When Peeta exits the stage I ask him who he was talking about, no one I know personally he replies. How odd. For a second I thought he could have been talking about me, probably not though.

I'm up next for the interview.

"Katniss! How lovely to see you! And such a stunning dress I might add, and you are stunning yourself of course."

"Oh Ceasar, you are far too generous." I smile at him. "About my dress, want to see something cool?"

This is it, Cinna told me what would happen but I'm scared.

"Go on, were dying to see! Aren't we?" The crowd roars with agreement.

I get up from my seat and start to twirl, and I don't stop. The edges of my dress erupt into flames and it slowly eats away at the dress. I'm left with a knee high all black dress. Resembling burnt coal. It's fitted to my body and shows off all my attributes. I have to admit, the fire thing scared me at first but it was pretty cool to twirl.

"Amazing! Katniss, the girl on fire! I like that." The crowd is screaming my name. "So, do you know who Peeta was talking about? You're his district partner, you have to know something!"

"Sorry Ceasar, but I don't have a clue, I'm sure she is a really nice person though." I can see from the corner of my eye Peeta smiling.

"I'm sure she's lovely. Now Katniss, statistically, District 12 does not get very far in the game, what do you think about this year?"

"I think that Peeta and I are competitive people who are willing to do what it takes to survive."

"Any alliances brewing?"

I turn to face Cato, he cocks his head and looks me in the eye.

I turn back to Ceasar sporting a genuine smile.

"No, I think I might go at this solo."

"Very brave of you, but I wouldn't rule anything out yet! You never know, things always change."

"Perhaps." I frown slightly, but remember Effies words and look up at Ceasar with an even bigger smile than previously.

"Unfortunately Katniss there is no more time left, the interviews are complete. Again, a gorgeous dress on a gorgeous woman." He bows slightly as I exit and starts to address the crowd.

"Good job Katniss, and thank you for smiling." Effie beams. "And Peeta, you did a marvelous job as well!"

"I'm just excited for training, the sooner we get this done the better." I need to get to sleep soon…

"And I'm excited to eat! These interviews definitely make you hungry!" Typical Peeta.

"Yes and I'm rather starved myself." Effie ponders. "I will have the chef prepare us a celebratory dinner."

Back in the dining room of our new home I can smell freshly made cakes and cookies. There are so many different types of desert that I have never seen before; some look like they're from a different planet all together.

"I would hardly call this dinner Effie!" My stomach growls audibly.

"Well, I was in the mood for sweets. I can tell the cook to take it back…"

"No complaints from over here, this is delicious!" Peeta begins stuffing his face like he's never seen food in his life, and I gladly join in.

Cato and clove walk in, probably to see what all the noise was about.

"Hey 12, manners much?" Clove practically spits in my face.

"Hey 2, you know what they named your District after? Shit."

Clove stalks over, stopping mere inches from my face.

"You better watch it 12, tomorrow in training I'm going to kick your ass all the way back to your stupid little District."

"I'd like to see you try." She's so tiny, how could she possibly hurt me? They leave us to our food, thank God.

"One dinner of silence, that's all I ask." Effie holds her face, she must have a head ache. I giggle because she's got a milk mustache.

I think I ate a ton of food, I'm so full that walking to my room was actually painful. And there is Cato, sitting on my bed. This boy is going to be beat tomorrow, severely.

"Can you get out of my room, you know, the one that's mine?"

"Why did you tell Ceasar that you have no alliance?" He looks pretty pissed off.

"Um, because I don't have an alliance?" Can't he leave already?

"You have one with me." He stands up and is inches away from my face, and he's got me cornered. "I highly doubt that you will reject my offer in the end."

"Then you must be horrible at gambling." I push his chest but he doesn't budge. "Can you get off of me? I'd appreciate it."

Out of defiance he put more weight onto me. He is making me very uncomfortable. His breath stinks of alcohol and his face is way too close to mine.

"You wont be saying that later, fire girl."

"Look. I'm not going to get in an alliance with you. And I am most certainly not going to _get_ with you." I muster up enough energy to push him, he didn't expect it that time and he loses his footing.

I grab some clothes and slam the door of my private bathroom shut and lock it quickly. The banging on my door proceeds for about a minute before he finally gives up. Happy that I've won this time I turn on the hot water and start to shower, tomorrow I will show them what I'm made of.


	4. Four (updated 03 30 2013)

As I wash my hair I start to think about life, it's hard not to. I can only think about how training is tomorrow, and my opportunity to kick District 2's ass. Cato needs to back off, that's for sure. Even if I wanted to start something, it would be pointless. And I don't want to start something, right? What does he want? The Games pits us against one another, what he wants wouldn't be smart. I can't even trust Peeta. There's no denying that I have an attraction towards Cato, something I definitely don't understand. I finish up in the shower and step onto the cold tile floor, I am so excited to get dressed in warm clothes.

Of course Cinna would put on waterproof makeup, I don't have the necessary tools to chip away the gunk off of my face. I look myself in the mirror, they really did make me look pretty. I am almost unrecognizable, in the seam there's no need to put on makeup. Who would I dress up for anyway, Gale? In a sense, soot is our makeup. I can't wait to prove myself to everyone tomorrow, right now they just think of me as the scum from District 12.

I wrap the towel around my body and open the bathroom door, I think I will talk to Haymitch about getting a lock installed on- oh my God.

"Cato what the actual fuck. I was giving myself a motivational speech in the shower on how I was going to personally kick your ass tomorrow. I didn't know I would have to do it today. Get out of my room." I look him dead in the eyes. "Now."

Cato, who had been sitting on my bed for what I think was the whole time I was in the shower, jumps up. Did I mention he was shirtless? Why didn't he leave before?

"Maybe you should get dressed first?"

I am suddenly aware that I am in a towel, only a towel. I tighten my grip on it and hold it closer to my body.

"Look, Cato. I'm sure you're…" I hold back a gag. "A very nice person, but I am not interested."

Cato then grabs my towel and rips it off of me. I am stark naked in front of a total pervert. This isn't happening.

"I like you better without the towel." He pins me against the wall.

"Cato, this isn't funny!" I am trying to cover as much skin as I possibly can, has got to be one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. When I get the chance, I will definitely kill him. His eyes are like daggers piercing my soul, that's how intensely he was looking at me. Before I can say more he grabs the back of my neck and goes in for a kiss.

The kiss was forceful, or should I say the kisses. As much as I wanted to respond, I couldn't, I don't want to be with him! He kept slipping tongue into my mouth but I bit down instead of returning the favor. He took that as a sign that I was enjoying it, for some reason, but I was really looking for a way to escape. He moved on to kiss and bite my neck. I can't be here, this is too awkward, and weird! I do the only thing I can, I scream.

He covers my mouth with his once again. So I stomp on his foot and take his arm forcing it behind his back. I must have dislocated his arm because he falls down, clutching his arm and writhing in pain.

"What is going on? Katniss, why is Cato on the ground?" She takes a look at me and covers her eyes. "And why are you naked?" Effie says in surprise.

I quickly cover myself with the towel that Cato still clutched in his hand.

"He had a run in with his ego. I think he'll be fine after he sees a doctor." I narrow my eyes at him. "Why don't you take him to the infirmary? And Effie. Can you get a lock installed on my door? Thanks." What just happened?

Cato slowly gets up and reluctantly leaves my room, probably off to go get an icepack.

"Don't forget to let the door hit you on the way out!"

"Fuck you…"

"But I thought that's what you wanted?" I can't help but to laugh, that was just too funny.

Despite him intruding on my personal space and pretty much molesting me, I feel pretty good. I think this is the last I will see of Cato in my room. He wouldn't want to risk another arm injury, especially since he will probably depend on his arms to murder tributes.

I quickly grab some clothes and change into them. I need a few moments to go over the events that just happened. My hand goes to my lips; I didn't enjoy it, did I? No, I couldn't have. I feel myself blushing. There's no time to think about it more because I can hear Cato yelling, all the way from the other side of the house. He is very mad, was that just because of me? I feel a sense of victory and grin to myself.

"Take that ass hole!"

"Did I hear someone call my name?" Haymitch appears in my room.

"Um, no?"

"It's a joke Katniss, I know you didn't call my name. I came in here because you wanted to talk, I'm sorry that I passed out yesterday. Oh and there should be a lock on your door by tonight, heard what you did to the boy. You, Princess, will achieve much in life." He goes in for a high five and I return one back.

"It's actually Cato I wanted to talk about. Besides the fact that he is an ass, he offered me something that I'm not sure I should refuse." I pause. "He wants me to join the career pack."

"Ok, so what's the news?"

"What do you mean what's the news, that _is_ the news!" I am in utter disbelief. "I'm not necessarily open to the idea of being with a bunch of crazy killers."

"The goal of the Games is to win, and you want to win, don't you? So here's my advice, join them. And when you get a chance, kill them. Simple."

"I'm thinking I could do this alone. Would I stand a chance?"

"Possibly, if you hid for a few days. The careers would pick off the weak ones and then they would come for you. But being alone means that you have to get food and shelter by yourself, you are constantly in danger. If you can get the sponsors I would do it, if you don't you are as good as dead."

"Alright, when they see what I can do with an bow… well they better give me a top training score."

"Don't show off what you can do tomorrow, save that for the Game makers."

"Yeah." I stifle a yawn. "Will do, good night Haymitch."

"You too Princess."

-(The next day)-

"I'd expect you to have been up hours ago Katniss! Get up it's training day!"

"Effie let me go back to sleep…" cold hands grab me and haul me up.

"There's no time! Here are your clothes; you will wear them during training. Put them on and go to the training floor. Good luck, Katniss."

I examine the clothes she's given to me, they aren't necessarily hideous but I wouldn't wear them in public. It's an all black jumper with my District number displayed clearly. I quickly put it on and go to find Peeta.

"Ready to go! Can you believe they put us in these ridiculous things?"

"It's whatever, I don't mind it."

"Yeah… anyway lets get going!" I wonder what they'll have us do, will they have a bow in there? Peeta is being awfully distant this morning.

A woman greets all of the tributes at the door, she identifies herself as the head trainer. She gives us a tour of the room, which is huge. There are stations for survival and combat, I can't wait to get started. The last station she brings us to is the sparring station, we are allowed to fight each other but are to make no illegal moves. Cato, who I suspect is still embarrassed, is staring at me. I'm sure he's just yearning to get me back.

"And with that, let the training begin!" The woman goes off to watch us from a room up top, to make sure we don't try anything, I'm sure.

"Hey fire girl, come spar with me!" Cato says.

I look over to Peeta, I want him to give me some indication as to what I should do, and he gives me none.

"Sure. Ready to get your ass handed to you?" I see Peeta go over to the knots station, no one else is there.

It is hand to hand combat, essentially wrestling. We stand in the corners of the mat and wait for the trainer to blow the whistle that allows us to start.

The whistle goes off and Cato runs at me, I didn't see him coming at me like that. I am knocked to the ground but maneuver my way out of his grasps. My legs lock on to his head and I start squeezing but I don't let go. He barely manages to remove them and pins my hands to the ground.

"Give up 12."

"Not a chance, we're just getting started."

I spit in his eye, and his hands go up to wipe the spit off so he can see. I ram into his side and he falls down. When he finally gets up he kicks me in the face.

I resist the urge to touch my cheek and I clock him in the right eye. He doesn't even flinch.

"Nice try, but its going to take more than a punch to stop me."

He fakes a punch to my left and goes for a kick in the stomach. The wind is knocked out of me and I struggle to breathe. He doesn't give me the time to catch my breath and uppercuts me.

I fall to the floor, that punch will definitely leave a mark.

I slowly get up and we start to circle each other, I spit blood at his feet. I go for his feet but he grabs my waist and throws me over his shoulder, then he falls on me. I don't have any time to react; he's on me in an instant.

He gets on top of me and wraps his hands around my throat. He doesn't stop squeezing and I can't get him off of me. And as if that wasn't enough he is sitting on my lungs, he must weigh two hundred pounds.

I claw at his face as I start to lose my sight. My legs are also kicking, trying to push him over somehow. We look each other in the eyes and he shows no sign of stopping.

I frantically hit the mat with my hand, he's too strong and I cant breathe.

Cato slowly gets off of me and goes over to boast his victory to the other careers. I can hear Clove laughing and commending him on his conquest.

"You got in a few good moves, but you were no match for my strength 12." I can hear Cato shout.

I walk over to the bench and rub my neck, weren't those illegal moves he pulled? The trainer throws in a few tips and pats Cato on the back. I should have known that they would overlook anything the careers did that was illegal.

A tribute from District 8 comes over and tells me that I had a good match, but to next time hit him again when he's down.

"Don't let them get up, keep them down. That means you have control, if you let them up it's over. Not that I'd win against a career though."

"What's your name?"

"Bo. And I already know yours. Everyone loved you yesterday."

"Well thanks Bo." I smile at him and he leaves to go build fires.

"Katniss, you had to scream yesterday didn't you?" It was Cato, he probably came over to gloat.

"Cato! Oh my God. I don't want this! I don't want _you_!"

"You may say you don't, but you were hesitant yesterday. Something inside of you craved for more. Listen, don't embarrass me again or what happened in sparring will happen in the Game. But in the Game I wont stop. I like you Katniss, you've got spirit, and I can appreciate that."

I bury my head in my hands, this day did not go as planned.


	5. Five (updated 03 30 2013)

_A canon goes off, all eyes are on the cornucopia. I see a bow, but it's in the middle of all the supplies. It will be hard to get to it. I survey my surroundings, we're in the woods. It is very similar to the seam, that's good. I just hope there are no hidden surprises._

_We are all hesitant; nobody wants to be blown up for leaving too early. That has happened in the past and none of us want a repeat._

_I make eye contact with Peeta, we will try to get out of this together. There's something odd about this place interestingly enough. There is an eerie feeling and I just cant figure out what it is, maybe it's the air, and it does seem a little misty. A tribute steps onto the ground, I hold my breath. He doesn't blow up._

_I start sprinting with the rest of the tributes, trying to avoid them at the same time. About half of us will die, right here, before we can even make it to the woods. I stop short, and all of the other tributes run past me. They are murdering each other over weapons and food, but that's not why I stopped._

_Prim is in the middle of the field, what is she doing there? There is fighting going on all around her, people are dying and she is just standing there. I call out to her but she doesn't look my way, can't she hear me? I start running to her, she shouldn't be here!_

_She seems to be glowing; she is in a white dress too. She almost looks like an angel. Prim, my innocent sister. Why would she want to be here, did mother let her come? Mother was supposed to look after Prim, not put her in harms way. I can almost reach her, I am just an arms length apart._

_Suddenly a man pushes me to the ground, my body is paralyzed. What did he just do to me? My body wont bend to my will and all I am capable of doing is crying. I can see my sister still, and she is walking towards him. Why can't she see he is a monster?_

_"No!" She doesn't hear me! "Don't go near him Prim. Run away! He will kill you, he enjoys killing!"_

_They meet each other in the middle of the field and are just looking into each other's eyes; he has a sword behind his back, his finger is tapping on the blade._

_He gently caresses her cheek with his free hand, and then swiftly plunges the sword into her heart. She's looking into his eyes still and she smiles, and then she starts to laugh. An evil cackling laugh is coming out of Prim, and it's scaring me. Why is she laughing? The man pushes the sword further into her, and blood spurts out of her mouth. She kneels over, clutching her stomach, but she doesn't stop laughing._

_I am still crying, but tears are no longer coming out. My mouth is dry and it's hard to scream out to her. Why is she here, she shouldn't be here. I took her place! Prim was never supposed to die. I did this for her… Why would the Capitol do this to me, to us, to my family?_

_The man pulls out the sword ever so slowly and twists it, prolonging her pain. The white dress Prim was in is now stained with her blood. She crumples onto the floor, is she dead? Her eyes are void of life, but there is still a faint smile on her face._

_He walks over to me with a ghoulish grin on his face. Prims blood adorns him, he licks it off of his lips. He starts laughing and bends down and whispers into my ear, it was hard to hear him._

_"You're nothing." He hisses at me. "Can't you understand that?"_

_The sword he used to murder prim is still in his hands, and he wipes off her blood with my shirt. I want to take it and stab him in the face right here, my arms are barely able tremble._

_I don't have a chance to hurt him; he takes the sword and rips open my stomach. He is touching my face, just like he did to Prim. What a sick bastard._

_I go to hold my insides from falling out, but my arms wont obey me, yet again._

_"You should have loved me."_

_I can't see anymore._

I wake up gasping for air; my hands instinctively go to my stomach. Everything is still intact, that's good. Sweat is pouring down my face, that dream was so, so, scary.

I don't think I will be able to go back to sleep, not after that. The last few days just haven't been going well. There's only three days of training left. After the first day of training nobody has taken me seriously. I've pretty much kept to myself, and as much as I want to shoot everyone with a bow I have to restrain myself.

Haymitch keeps reminding me that I will have my time to shine in just three days. Three days, and then off to the Game Makers. After I show off to the Game Makers, the Games.

Its around two in the morning, training will start in six hours, and today I will work on knots. I wander outside and go to the kitchen. An avox prepares me a light snack and I sit at the dining room table to eat it. I wont be able to eat like this when that games start, might as well eat all I can now. I don't usually approve of gluttony, especially since my District is basically starving, but denying myself food isn't going to help me in the Games.

I figure that the more I eat the stronger I will be, the stronger I am the better chance I have. But then again how much can my body improve from years of malnourishment in just a matter of days?

"You couldn't sleep either?" Peeta emerged from his room.

"No, I just had a nightmare. You know I thought I would be afraid of the prospect of going into the Games, but I'm more afraid of my dreams."

"I've been having those too. I think we've all been having them. You should hear Haymitch at night." He chuckles to himself, then getting serious very quickly. "He cries and screams for his family in his sleep, you know he sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection."

"It's not funny, what happened to him, what is going to happen to us."

"That's true, it's not funny and I was wrong to laugh. Can I sit next to you?"

"Yeah." I make room for Peeta to sit next to me.

"I know, what happened the first day of training sucked, it really did. You got beat by Cato, but you put up a pretty good fight, there's no denying that. You have to move past it, ok? Don't get stuck on it, you are just holding yourself back."

"That's not what my nightmare was about. But anyway, he did an illegal move! I should have won. If he hadn't done that…."

"Cato is Cato, he will do what he wants when he wants. He will also cheat to get his way. But anyway, we all know that life isn't fair, people cheat. If anything he did you a favor, because that's what it's going to be like in the Games."

"I just wish I didn't lose, they were televising that I'm sure, at least for the important people… Do you think sponsors saw?"

"Don't worry about everyone else and what they think, worry about yourself. You're the only one that matters, not the other tributes."

"They decide my fate, of course I have to fucking worry about what everyone thinks! What if I cut myself? What if I have no food or water and I'm dying of hunger? The only ones that can save me are the sponsors! So worrying about them is worrying about myself. Peeta, so many things can happen during the Games, _I don't want to die_."

"Katniss, I know you. You are beautiful and intelligent, and _strong_." He called me beautiful? "You will go far in the Games with or without sponsors, you'll find a way it's in your blood. Seriously though, since when have you not been able to feed yourself? You've practically taken care of the whole seam singlehandedly." He laughs, a real laugh.

"Cato offered me a spot in the career pack the other day."

"Did you accept it?" He is intrigued; I have seen him trying to be buddy-buddy with Cato and Clove. He doesn't know that they mock him behind his back though.

"No, I couldn't. They didn't offer you one. I would never willingly leave you behind Peeta."

"Oh." I can see that he is hurt by this, probably wondering if he should still try to get with them. "That was nice of you, not many people would do that for me."

"Yeah." My mouth goes to a thin line.

We sit and talk to each other about random things for the rest of the night.

"Katniss have you been up this whole time?" Effie is confused that I am already dressed and ready to go.

"I've had things on my mind." Prim.

"Hopefully you're getting your head back in to the game! You haven't been doing well in training I've heard." She takes a sip of wine. "Katniss I don't want you to get out of practice! You better be alert today."

"It doesn't really matter, training is just a joke, a farce. The real show is for the Game makers."

"Yes… well get down there. And please don't disappoint today. We'll all be watching you today."

Yeah ok Effie, glad to know I've been disappointing everyone. She has been extra creepy lately; I think she's actually trying to be my friend.

I make my way down to the Elevator where I am greeted by Clove.

"Well hey there Fire Girl! Ready to suck ass today, again?"

"I'm not in the mood Clove, but good morning to you too."

"I'm not here to make friends Katniss, I'm here to make sure I can kill you all effectively and efficiently. Too bad we can't start early. I can hardly wait to decapitate you."

"It's a shame isn't it? I was looking forward to being dismembered today too."

I go to press the 'close door' button on the elevator but Cato steps in and presses it for me. He is standing too close for comfort.

"Would you look at that? She's going to training!" He snorts. "Katniss I don't know why you try anymore."

"Like I told Clove, not in the mood!" I put my hand up. "Please, don't start."

"When are you in the mood for anything?"

The elevator starts to go to the training floor, why am I always stuck with them?

"Cato, do we need a repeat of the other day?"

"You mean when I won our match? Sure." He is as cocky as ever.

I sighed; of course he would ignore what happened between us. I doubt Clove even knows.

"Whatever Cato."

"Fire Girl, you and I both know you're going to get a shit training score. Why don't you just join us now? It's going to be a lot harder to get in with us after your score comes out. Soon I'm going to stop trying to get you to come with us."

"For the last time, I am not joining you!"

The door opens up to the training floor, I get out and make my way to the knots station. The first thing I am going to learn is how to make a trap. Who knows, maybe I will use it to capture the lovely Cato.


	6. Six (updated 03 30 2013)

Peeta and I are sitting on a bench along with all the other tributes who haven't gone yet. Looking around the room everyone is just as nervous as me, well, except the careers. I don't look at them too much, that would just give them some sort of sick satisfaction. Someone is shaking his or her leg, and it is irritating me to no end. I resist the urge to yell at them and ask them to stop, I have more important things to worry about.

One by one the tributes go into the training center, the careers give each other encouraging words and a pat on the back. And each one of them comes back with tales of success. One tribute threw a spear right through a dummy and it got pinned to a wall. Another tribute set up and elaborate trap and demonstrated its capabilities on himself, he had the rope burns to prove it.

Pretty soon the only tributes left are from District 11, my nerves are at their peak.

"Are you ready?"

"God no, are you? Wait never mind that was a stupid question of course you're ready." I giggle to myself; my palms are sweaty from all the stress.

"No Katniss that isn't a stupid question, and I am most certainly not ready."

"We just have to show them what we're made of. You're one of the strongest people I know, and I can shoot. Together we will have the sponsors we need, and we don't need to rely on anyone else! Think about it Peeta, you and me surviving, its possible."

"I hope so Katniss, I really hope so."

The girl from District 11 runs out crying, her name is Rue I think. She's so young, and she reminds me of Prim. To think that Prim would be in the games at just twelve years old pulls at my heart strings, I send out a silent prayer for the girl.

"I tried my best but I don't think they liked me!" She whines.

"Did you do everything I told you to do?" Her partner questioned. He is a stocky boy, he most likely worked out in the fields all day, and he is someone I have to look out for. It's a wonder he didn't join the careers, he'd fit right in.

"Yes but they hardly even looked at me!"

"If you did it, you will be fine. Trust me." He bends down to get to her level and put his hands on her shoulders. "_Trust me_."

So that's it, he protects her. He won't leave her to the wolves. He and I are more alike than I thought.

They are led back to their rooms by a peacekeeper, it's just me and Peeta now. And this is the horrible thing about being from District 12, we have to go last and it's the most agonizing thing I have experienced thus far.

Peeta doesn't stay long; we squeeze each other's hands just before he enters the training center, and he waves to me just before he goes through the door.

There is a silence that I can't quite understand, you could hear a pin drop.

I catch myself, remembering that I have to breathe. He's been in there for a few minutes now, might as well be a few centuries. He will do well, I can sense it, he will be just fine.

"Hello Katniss." Startled, I whip my head around to see who called me name.

"Cato! You aren't supposed to be here, how did you get past the peacekeepers?"

"Really, think about it? Why _wouldn't_ they let me in? I just came to give you a few encouraging words, and maybe a good luck kiss?"

"No don't come near me!" I'm up on my feet. "And don't even think about touching me."

"You make things so difficult Katniss." He crosses his arms. "Look, you aren't going to get a good score in there. I must have said it ten times, it will be hard to join us after your score comes out. Don't be so difficult!"

"I know how to use weapons, I am skilled. And I know how to defend myself." I close the gap between us. "I wont have any trouble impressing the game makers." I poke him in the chest. "And I especially don't need to get all buddy-buddy with a bunch of jerks." I am fuming.

He grabs my finger and tightens his grip. It is painful, he might be on the verge of breaking it.

"You need to take a look at where you are heading fire girl, because right now you aren't going anywhere but a grave."

My arm suddenly explodes in pain as he pins it behind my back. I almost let out a scream. So this is what it felt like to Cato before, it is a sharp agonizing pain.

"I didn't know you got off on pain." I can barely breathe, the pain is excruciating.

"I was just returning the sensation you gave me before." He licks my exposed neck, and I can feel him smile. He starts to laugh. He forces my arm just a bit more; I wouldn't be surprised if he tore something.

"You know me so well." My arm is released and I am pushed to the ground. "Don't mess up, you know that everything depends on your score."

He turns and leaves just as Peeta comes out the door.

"What the hell happened?" He catches a glimpse of Cato leaving. "What did that ass hole do?" He runs over to help me up.

"He was just messing around, trying to scare me." I grab Peetas hand and he lifts me up. "Did they like you? Tell me the liked you."

"You should have called in the peace keepers. It is not ok, what he's doing to you, he's trying to scare you. As for the Game Makers, you never know with the Game Makers."

"He's friends with the peacekeepers! They wouldn't have done anything. The worst thing they would have done to him was give him one less sword in the arena. But that's true, about the Game Makers." I stifle a laugh. "I'm sure they thoroughly enjoyed your performance."

A peacekeeper taps me on the shoulder, it's my turn.

"Kick ass Katniss. Make Cato regret everything he's ever said to you."

"Thanks." I am grinning form ear to ear. "I plan on it."

I step into the room that I have trained in for about a week, but the only thing in it is a bow and a few arrows following three targets of various sizes.

I take few unsure steps towards the bow, and then I look up at the game makers. They aren't paying much attention to me, but rather to the gossip some woman is yakking about.

I run my fingers across the bow, it's the finest I have ever seen. The bow I use back home is of supreme quality, but this… it's magnificent. It's made of stainless steel, and most likely hand crafted. I tighten my grip onto the bow and place an arrow on the string.

All of my focus is placed on the smallest target, I pull back my arm, and release. Just as the weapon is about to leave my arm twitches, it's just enough to throw off the course of the arrow.

A clang echoes across the room, I missed the target. My suspicions are confirmed, when Cato pushed my arm he must have damaged some muscles, I am currently still in a considerable amount of pain.

The judges are all staring at me, and I can see they've already made up their minds. They probably even had their mind made up before I came in here.

An avox brings out a pig with an apple in its mouth, the Game Makers flock to it leaving me stranded in the middle of the room. This isn't right! They've hardly even given me a chance. I can't just go now; they haven't seen what I can do!

Saying that I am angry would be an understatement; they wont give me the time of day. I am beyond angry, I am fuming.

I put the pain to the side and load up my bow. If this doesn't get their attention I don't know what will. I focus on the apple, and imagine it as Cato's head. His smug face is about to meet my fist.

My arrow finds its target in the matter of nanoseconds, and the apple is forced onto the wall.

The head game maker stands up and I can see through his eyes that he is livid. I am actually getting a death stare from a woman with green skin, that's something you don't see every day.

"That will be all, you are done." He says.

"Th-thank you for your consideration." I stumble on my words. Then I curtsy. "May the odds be ever in my favor." I whisper to myself.

-(next day)-

"Children! Children! They are about to announce your training scores! I am so excited to see how you've done." Effie is with Haymitch and the mentors from Distirct 2.

"I'm coming!" I stuff my face with my last bite of cereal and run to the television.

Cato and Clove are already sitting down, and Peeta arrives just as I do.

"Nice of you to join us." Clove sneers. "Always late, tsk, tsk.

"Sorry, I'm not sorry." I give her a look and plop down onto the couch.

Ceasar appears on the screen and starts to address Panem.

"Hello citizens of Panem! Yesterday marked the last day of training, a sad day, but one that marks the beginning of a wondrous Games! But what's good for us is we get to see their scores!" A fake smile appears on his face. "This is one of the most exciting parts of the Games! We get to see exactly how hard the tributes worked during training. Now, why don't we start with District 1, shall we?"

He states the District 1 tributes both got nines, amazing scores.

Now all our attention is focused on Cato and Clove, they are up next.

"And District 2 had a very good turn out this year, the male tribute Cato scored a ten as well as the female, Clove."

"Yes! Woo!" Cato shouts. He is overjoyed. "I knew it!" Cato and Clove embrace in an awkward hug and I can tell already they got many sponsors. Their mentors give them congratulatory hugs and pat them on the back.

I don't really pay attention to any of the other tributes after that, only noting that Bo got a six and Rue got a seven. I'm glad that it worked out with Rue.

This is it, the moment of truth, Peetas score and then mine. My fingers are crossed for the both of us.

"Now this is surprising, I must say I did _not_ expect this at all. The male tribute, Peeta, scored an eight."

Effies hands shoot to her face, I can tell that she's screaming on the inside.

"Wonderful! This is wonderful!"

"Good job, I knew you had it in you!" Haymitch pats Peeta on the back. He has a huge smile on his face.

"Good job Peeta. I'm proud of you."

"Thanks Katniss." He takes my hand in his. "I'm really proud of you too."

"The female tribute, Katniss scored a-" Ceasars face drains of color. "No I definitely don't think we did expect this… "Katniss, the female tribute, scored a… one." Did I hear him right? Peeta lets go of my hand. "Congratulations to all tributes, and I look forward to tomorrow and the Games!"

Effies mouth is wide open; Haymitch dropped his drink onto the floor.

"You scored a- a- a-…" Effie can barely get the words out of her mouth.

"_One_." I look deep into Cato's eyes, im screwed.

He just winks at me.

Effie slumps over and faints.


	7. Seven (updated 04 21 2013)

After Effie woke up all hell broke loose. First, Cato and Clove would not shut their mouths. I heard every told you so in the book. When they finally left me alone I had a brief moment of peace before Haymitch started ripping into me.

"How could you score a one?" Haymitch shouts at me.

"It was supposed to be my year…" Effie mumbles to herself. Her makeup is smeared and her mascara is running. Peeta offers her another tissue. "How can I move up now? I am condemned to the seam!" She wails and buried her face in her hands.

"I didn't do badly! I didn't mean to at least. I thought I had made up for it in the end."

"What do you mean made up for it?" Haymitch growls. "You are an expert marksman, how could you have done badly?"

"My arm was hurt, there was nothing I could do. But they weren't paying attention to me at all anyway! So when an avox brought in their dinner I shot it! I shot the stupid pigs apple into the wall."

"You shot their dinner? Katniss the Game Makers do not mess around, you mess with them and it's over. You are supposed to make people like you, not want to kill you. It's over, you're over. Hell, I'm, over!" Haymitch takes a swig of whiskey.

"You're my mentor you have to believe in me!"

"How am I supposed to believe in you when you've done something so foolish. It was a major risk, what you did. And that risk did _not_ pay off. You don't have sponsors, no one will go near you. You're on your own in the arena."

"Please, please trust me. I can do this! I do not need the sponsors, not when I have Peeta with me!"

I eye Peeta, he's siting quietly on the couch handing Effie her tissues. He sheepishly looks down.

"If I become your partner I will lose my sponsors Katniss. The sponsors don't think you will make it, and they think you will drag me down if I pair with you. I'm sorry. I really wish that there was something I could do."

The color drains from my face. Peeta was supposed to be my partner, I even turned down Cato because Peeta wasn't included. Not that I am inclined to make an alliance with him. Why is he doing this to me? After all that I have sacrificed…

"Come on Effie I think there's a bottle of brandy in the other room."

"I think I'd enjoy that right now thank you Haymitch. Isn't he being quite the gentleman?" She has a soft laugh as he escorts her to the next room over. "I will need all the alcohol I can get."

"Peeta…"

"I'm doing this for you katniss."

"What do you mean? I can't make it out there on my own. Everyone is going to go after me, they think I'm an easy target. You aren't doing me any favors."

"You need to be with the careers. It's the only way."

"Cato wont let me join them, not without paying a price. Can't I just be with you? We don't really need the sponsors…"

"You know we need the sponsors Katniss. They sometimes are the deciding factor on if we die or not." He stands up making his way over to me.

"I can't believe you're doing this to me." I hold back my tears, but my lips tremble. "You're despicable."

Peets hugs me, and he doesn't let go for the longest time.

"I'm doing this for you, you have to believe me. You have to understand."

"You aren't doing this for me Peeta! What your'e doing is condemning me!" My voice grows louder. "I dream every night of dying. I die in the arena every night." I let out a cry. "I don't want my dreams to become reality. I need to be here for Prim. If I am on my own… at least for the beginning of the games, my chances of survival are slim to none."

"Trust me!"

"I can't trust you! Give me one good reason to trust you! I want to spit at your feet. And right now Peeta I just want to run away from you!" I try to sound strong and loud, but my voice cracks.

"**Trust me because I love you**!" He cries at me.

"You… you… love _me_?"

He is silent. Just staring into my eyes.

I can't deal with this; I slowly back away from Peeta. How could he betray my friendship like this? Its bad enough that he wont be my partner, but to declare his love at a time like this.

I just turn and leave, looking for a place to hide in shame. I grab the closest door handle and walk into the room.

And isn't it just great that the room I am in is Cato's. Why do I always have to run into Cato at the most inconvenient times!

"I didn't know you wanted to fuck me that badly."

I turn my head to face him.

"I didn't mean to come in here. Sorry." I am about to walk out the door when a hand forces it closed.

"I wanted to talk to you."

"I am not really in the mood to talk, not after what happened." Not after my disaster of a score, and Peeta professing his love.

"I told you what would happen, I told you _many_ times. " He says sternly.

I realize what he is implying. My mouth just hangs in awe.

"Oh it wasn't me who gave you a one, you _deserved_ that. You earned that all by yourself." He taps me on the nose. "The only thing I did was sit back and enjoy the performance." He puts his finger over my mouth, stopping me from saying anything. "Yes, I watched it all unfold. It was actually quite amusing. You, messing up, and then shooting that apple. Actually I lied; maybe I did have something to do with your horrendous score. I simply mentioned to one of the women there that you were trying to aim for her head but missed." He is pure evil.

"_Why_?"

"I like you Katniss. And I _want_ you. So I propose this, you make an alliance with the careers."

"What makes you think I will take you up on the offer?"

"What choice do you have? Nobody will go near you, just me."

"And if I join you, what is the catch?"

"It offends me that you think I would take advantage of you in your time of need." He purses his lips. "But if you insist… I told you it wasn't going to be easy joining me. Nobody will understand why I let you in, you would be such a burden to us all. But they would understand if I told them we had a romance going on. They would think us to be star crossed lovers, a perfect disguise for your situation."

"What? I can't agree to that! I can hardly even stand next to you for one minute! How do you expect me to stay with you through all of the games?"

"Its that, or I could snap your boyfriends neck in the first few minutes of the game." He has me trapped.

"You know what Cato? I hate you. I hate what you do, who you are. I'll agree to save Peeta, but I want you to know that you are one of the most appalling human beings I have _ever_ come across." Cato chokes on his laughter as I am talking to him.

"I'm glad you're in agreement. With the whole romance thing, you have to mean it, you can't just go in there and say you fell in love with me. Nobody will believe you, you have to _really_ mean it."

"I fell in love with _you_? Is this a joke? I am not saying that I fell in love with you."

Cato grabs me and throws me over his shoulder.

"Let me down you sick fuck." I bang on his back with my fists, but he doesn't let me down. I am carried to his bed where he gently sets me down. "I am not having sex with you, you can forget it beca-"

His lips cover my mouth before I can go any further. At first I keep my lips tightly closed, but I get lost in his kisses. He is being very caring, a side to him I have never seen before. It's sick that he can go from such extremes in the matter of seconds.

He spins me around so that I am on top of him, and that's when I realize who I am with. Its Cato for crying out loud, he is the resident asshole of Panem!

I jump off of him and run for the door. I do not make it far and he catches my arm.

"Where are you going?"

"I am not going any further with you, you've got me in a horrible position. I agreed to pretend, not to make this real."

"I wasn't going to have sex with you sweetie." He smirks.

"You weren't?"

"No, I'm saving that for when _we_ win the games."

I am in utter shock.


	8. Eight (updated 4 21 2013)

"Its not fair." My eyes are tearing up.

"Nothing is fair Katniss, people play dirty to get what they want. You should learn that."

"You know, I have nightmares every night. I die in the games, I just want to survive for Prim. She's my rock."

"Don't be so weak, the Games are a chance to live forever. Nobody will forget you."

"You live for _glory_, I live for those I love."

Cato and I are sitting on his bed side by side, we have been for at least an hour. I just can't believe he would put me in such a position, just because he liked me. I want to hurt Cato and see him suffer, but he's my lifeline. There nothing I can do about my situation, I have to play the cards he's dealt me. He may think I will stay loyal to him, but no, I will kill him when I get the chance. He is using me, so I will use him to get myself far in the games.

"You understand what's happening at the interview, correct?"

I sigh, yes I understand perfectly thanks to Cato. He has grilled me for the last hour on how to act for the next few days.

"We go out together, and I tell him that we fell in love. My love for you distracted me during training, a fluke. The audience will eat it up, the sponsors will come pouring in."

"Good girl. We can get through this, you can see Prim again, I promise. But Katniss, remember, don't screw this up or you will never even hear her name again. I'll make sure of that personally."

I know I shouldn't show fear or any emotion really, especially not near Cato, but Prim just evokes a feeling in me that sets me off the edge. I'm bawling within seconds.

"Um, don't cry…" Cato awkwardly pats me on the back.

He sees that I am not letting up anytime soon, and he just pulls me closer. He buries his face in the crook of my neck and tries to soothe me in his own special way.

"Look, I really like you Katniss… Not your shitty district, because it is shitty, but I think you're beautiful. But don't tell anyone I said that, I will just deny it."

I burrow my face in his chest and hold him closer.

Yes, it's Cato; the sick, twisted, evil bastard, but he's the only one I have now. Peeta crosses my mind, but I am so far off right now that I forget about him quickly.

* * *

A few hours later I wake up, I am still in Cato's bed.

I'm a little groggy from last night but I look up to see Clove staring. She's sitting at the edge of the bed, half sitting and half crouching.

"Well good morning sunshine, how was your beauty sleep?" She cuts up an apple with her knife and takes a bite.

"C'mon Clove get the fuck out of here, she's with me now."

"She's still scum…" Clove throws her knife and it embeds itself into the headboard. I pretty much jumped out of my skin. "Be careful! You wouldn't want to poke your eye out!"

"Clove." He says in a demanding voice.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm out." She slams the door on the way out.

I give a stern look to Cato.

"How did I end up in these clothes?" I am in an over sized dress shirt, most likely Cato's, and I'm not wearing any pants.

"Don't be a prude, you don't have anything I haven't seen already. Remember?"

I throw a pillow at him. He dodges it. In retailiation i throw the next object closest to me, a lamp. It shatters on the wall, narrowly missing his head.

"I don't want you touching me."

"Hey, you're the one that cried yourself to sleep last night. I didn't want you sleeping in dirty clothes."

I don't know what to think about Cato, he can be so kind. And then the next day Cato can be an inconsiderate jerk. He flashes me a smile, his teeth are perfect.

I turn over and bury my head in the pillow.

Don't tell me I'm actually _falling_ for him. Get your head back in the game Katniss, don't let your feelings get in the way of what you're after. _Prim_.

"You know you better get to your stylists. Interviews are in an hour." He did _not_ let me sleep in this late…

I run down to see Cinna, he is going to kill me.

* * *

Next thing I know I am being shoved into a tight black dress. It has a corset on it, and they've tightened it so much that I can hardly breathe.

"Cinna, why am I wearing this?"

"We want the crowd to love you, think you're beautiful, and you truly are. After what happened, well, we need all the help we can get... from your _other_ assets." He frowns. "Don't worry you will be perfect."

When Ceasar calls District 2 on the stage, I am ushered with him.

"Cato you have brought a guest! Katniss Everdeen, from District 12. What brings her here? And by the way, you look stunning Katniss."

"Doesn't she? And do you remember the person that I wanted to join the careers last week? Well, this is her!" Cato boasts.

"But Cato! You saw her training score, how could she help you? And Katniss I hope you don't mind, we will be combining your interviews."

"I don't think she minds, Ceasar." He draws me closer. I am repulsed at how possessive he is.

"So, how did you two become a pair?"

"Well Katniss and I have had a little crush on each other since we met. And I finally acted on my feelings, right before she went in to the game makers. She was a little blinded by how she felt, I guess. And Ceasar, I wouldn't count her out because of that! She is an amazing marksman; we all have out off days don't we? We're just two young people in love."

The crowd sighs.

"Katniss! Is this true?"

"Yes, it is." I grab Catos hand. "How could a girl say no?" I lean in for a kiss and Cato returns it. "He is so strong, and determined. He would do _anything_ to get what he wants."

I feel Cato pinch me, annoyed about what I have said.

"And Katniss is the type of girl that could just fall asleep in my arms. She is so innocent looking when she sleeps."

"How romantic! Can I get an 'aww' from the crowd?" Ceasar raises his hands.

Right on queue, an 'aww' echoes through out the room.

"I cant wait to see you two in the Games, I am sure you will go far, regardless of her score." Ceasar smiles. "Now this is a little unorthodox but we are bringing your fellow tribute, Peeta, on stage too." Peeta walks on to the stage.

I shift nervously in my seat.

"Peeta also had a love interest, and since we are celebrating love I thought we should have Peeta tell us who _his_ other half is."

"Uh, sorry, but I don't really think you want to know."

"Tell us, this is your only chance to tell her how you feel!"

"She already knows, I told her yesterday."

"Well, get on with it!"

"I don't think shed like me saying."

"She shouldn't be embarrassed by you! A young strapping lad, and one who scored an eight too!"

"No you don't understand."

"Whats not to understand?"

"Everything!"

"Please don't make me say it. I really don't want to, and neither would she."

"Peeta, i'm telling you as one man to another that she will _not_ be embarrassed by you."

"Its Katniss." Silence fills the room. Peeta bows his head, letting out all the air he had left in his lungs.

"Well, a love triangle! Katniss how do you feel about this? And by the way, Peeta, I can see why you were a little hesitant there."

I stand up and look Peeta dead in the eyes.

Peetas face drains, he knows what I will say. Hurt spreads all over his face and I haven't even said a word. And I have hurt him, I know it. I am a horrible person, a rotten friend. I can't have anyone mess this up; I have to get to Prim. And like Cato said... I can't afford to play fair and think about others. I wont abandon him though, never. I couldn't. But Peeta and I will have to keep out distance from each other. I don't want Cato to kill him, and I know he will if I show the slightest feelings towards Peeta. Because in reality, I really do like him.

"I could _never_ love Peeta." I sit back down.


	9. Nine (updated 4 21 2013)

A day has past since the interview, since I publically humiliated Peeta. So stupid! I am _so_ stupid! How could I do that to him? I am still mad about him professing his love and putting me in an awkward position with Cato, but I didn't want to hurt him! And the way I hurt him was, in my opinion, the worst way to ever hurt someone, publicly. I just want to win… Peeta refused to help me, so what choice did I have? He brought this on himself, right? After the interview had happened I spoke to Effie and Haymitch for hours, going over things. Peeta wasn't there, I think he locked himself in his room. I missed him.

_I could never love Peeta_, what a lie. I could, I could love Peeta. He is such an amazing guy. But the situation I'm in now, another time it could have possibly happened. But why did he tell me! What reason did he have? Did he think we could really be together? I know we could have done this as a team in the games but not as a couple, a _real_ couple! Screw the sponsors! Screw all of them... but then again I really do need them don't I? And Cato forcing me into this? Ugh.

Fucking Cato. Fucking Peeta! Everyone just loves to see me suffer. But maybe there is a silver lining, for Peeta, he got the sympathy vote. People will root for him because I was cruel, and they will root for me because I am with Cato. They will root for Cato because he is strong. I should really stop feeling sorry for myself and others around me.

I toy with my token, they almost didn't let me have it. I wonder if I would even try without it. Prim gave it to me, losing it would be like losing her.

I have left my last day to thought. Cato, his proposition is sickening and messed up, is he really my only chance? Do the sponsors really matter as much as I thought they did? Maybe I should make a run for it in the arena, I could possibly survive… possibly.

I am startled by Peeta sitting down next to me. His eyes look like they've had their fair share of tears.

"Hey Katniss."

"Hey Peeta." A few moments of awkward silence goes by. "I didn't mean to do that to you, on stage and all. Well, I mean I did, but you know what I mean when I say I didn't mean it. Wait, sorry, that came out wrong too."

"It's ok, the audience loved me anyway, who knows why. It'll be ok, in the end."

"It's because you're strong, and likeable. I'm not, nobody really likes me. Well, you do I guess, and Cato..." _Cato_

"I just know a side of you that they don't, if you had shown it to them maybe things would have turned out differently. But it's good you're with Cato, I know he's an ass, but he can protect you. Its what I've always wanted for you, to be safe."

"You know you could too, protect me." He is really handsome, I hadn't noticed it too much before. But the way Peeta looks, it pains me that I will never see him after the games.

"If I lost my sponsors then what would we have? A disaster. We'd die. At least this way you have a better chance of winning. What I did _was_ my way of protecting you."

"You'll stay safe out there, right? Promise not to do anything stupid like throw your bread to a girl in the streets." I grin. "It wont work to your advantage this time."

A peacekeeper grunts behind us. It's time.

It's all so real, the Games are going to start whether I want them to or not. I have to be with Cato, and put up with his bi-polar bullshit. I have to survive. It's all for Prim.

We are instructed to put out feet on a pad, if we leave it prematurely, we blow up. I remember the nightmare I had about them the other day, and I shudder. By now I am sure everyone is watching, excited to see the first death. How sick. Don't they have anything better to do? Roughly half of us wont make it past the initial blood bath, the lucky ones.

I close my eyes, and envision my father. I wonder what he would say to me. He would hug me and tell me anything to take my mind off of the bad things that were going to happen, and probably say 'keep your chin up, I believe in you'. A smile is plastered on my face, I open my eyes to a meadow.

"Five, Four, Three, Two." I inhale. "One."

_Chaos_.

* * *

We rush to the cornucopia, where all of our supplies are. Only the foolish would go for it, I am one of the fools. If we don't try to get something we risk starving.

An orange backpack lies in the middle of the field, accompanied by a bow. I need to get my hands on it. I sprint sideways to grab it, I could probably make a run for it and convince Peeta to join me.

Cannons sounds are going off all around me. I see a girl being hacked to death by one of the careers.

Cato probably figured I'd try to get out of this, he is a faster sprinter than me and he gets to it first. And what he does next makes me throw up in my mouth a little.

Cato grabs the District 8 tribute, Bo, who just happened to run past him, and pushes him to the floor. He then kneels over him pointing the arrow directly into his mouth. Weapon on the bowstring, he brings his arm back, and shoots. The tributes eyes widen and retract. Bo isn't dead yet. Cato gets back up and stomps on Bo's head. What a grotesque way to die. He tosses the bow a few feet away while laughing maniacally.

Cato sees me watching and walks over, I attempt to make a run for it.

"_I don't think so Katniss_." A hand grabs my collar and yanks me down. Why didn't I just run when I first saw him?

"Cato! Let me go!" I scramble on the ground.

"Don't try to run" He whispers in my ear while hauling me up. He plants a kiss on my lips, but I don't open my mouth for him. "It's all for you." He says that loud enough for the cameras to pick up.

I am eyeing the bow that Cato conveniently threw onto he ground. When Cato lets go I shoot my arm out, but again he is too fast for me.

"Katniss, I don't want you to hurt yourself." He then proceeds to throw the bow as far away as he possibly can, which is far, somewhere into the field hidden by the tall blades of grass and flowers. There is too much foliage to see where, what am I going to do?

"What? Why did you do that?" I am fuming, that was my ticket out of here!

"Katniss, _baby_." He leans in to whisper in my ear again. "Remember what you agreed to." He pecks the side of my cheek. "It's too dangerous, you don't need it."

I stare at the ground, the fact that around twelve people died hasn't gotten o me yet.

"Whatever you think is best." He kisses me on the cheek.

"Good girl." He looks over to Clove who just slit a girls throat open. "So whats happening?"

* * *

They're talking over their strategy, I'm not really needed there so I walk around and look at the corpses. The hovercraft hasn't come to get them yet, we're too close to the bodies.

I survey the dead. A girl, no older than fifteen, was stabbed numerous times in the chest right next to me, her entrails are all out of her body. And a few more lie around her with similar wounds, no doubt it was Clove. I kneel down by Bo, my friend during training. It was incredibly depressing the way he died. I'm sure it was quite painful up to the very end. I really thought he'd make it a little bit farther, his score was admirable. Its hard to say how many were dead today, because a few will die later on tonight. I'm pretty sure I counted at least seven cannon shots. I walk around a but more, closer to where the cornucopia was.

A boy has a spear lodged in near his heart, hands loosely grasping and trying to pull it out. He is having trouble, it doesn't look like he has the strength to take it out. Marvel, a career tribute comes to finish him off. He pushes the spear deeper into the boy, who spits out blood. Then he pulls it out and wipes the blood off with his pants. A cannon goes off.

"Don't you hate it when you can't get the job done the first time?" He gives me an evil grin. "Marvel by the way." He shoots out his hand.

"Yeah I know." I don't give him my hand, and after a few awkward moments he retracts his.

"Right… any idea where the boy from your district is? Peeta was his name, right?"

"I don't know where he is. And even if I did I wouldn't ever tell you." Thank God he is still alive.

"We aren't going to have a problem, are we? You won't make this difficult, right?"

"I don't know. Are we?" I pull a knife from a fresh corpse. I'm ready to fight, I've seen this guy train and he doesn't seem like the type I'd trust. I wouldn't trust Cato either, yeah never. I don't trust anyone. But then again Cato is the only one I know wants me here.

"Cut it out Katniss. Marvel over here, grab whatever you can from the bodies." I retreat from the fight, for now.

I walk over to Cato and sit down on a crate next to the cornucopia. I'm playing with my pin again.

"Het Katniss, mind doing something? Don't be a lazy fuck." Clove yells over at me.

"Yeah Katniss get over here." Cato notices me grasping my pin. "Whats that?" He rips it from my hands and inspects it.

"Cato give it back that's important to me."

"Yeah right Katniss, I think its distracting you. How about this, I hold on to it for a while."

"No!" He pockets my pin.

A sound comes from the back of the cornucopia, followed by a few more. Cato walks over and grabs a boy by the hair, dragging him over for all of us to see.

"Well, well. You weren't eavesdropping, were you?"

"N-no sir… please don't hurt me I swear I wasn't!" He is cowering away from Cato.

"What's your name?

"M-m-my friends call me Glitch."

"Well _Glitch_ are you useful to us?"

"Yeah of course! I can do lots of things! Um… I can do…"

"You have about five seconds to come up with something or my friend Glimmer here would just _love_ to gut you." Glimmer waves at him.

"I-I-I could re-wire the explosives! It would be a trap anyone that touched it would blow up!"

"Welcome to the team Glitch." Cato throws him into the crates. "And by the way stop fucking stuttering." What an ass.


	10. Ten (updated 4 22 2013)

After verbally abusing the new member of our team for an hour Cato was finally far enough away from the others.

I charge over and tackle him to the ground. His back hits the floor with a loud thud.

"What the hell was that about, before?" I slap his cheek.

Cato is flustered at first, but assesses his surroundings. He looks up into my eyes and gives me a smirk.

"I've been dreaming about this for days Katniss." He winks at me. "Us all hot and sweaty, wrestling each other…."

I put more force onto his chest, making it harder for him to breath. It doesn't stop him from making sarcastic remarks though.

"Why did you throw my bow in the woods?" I spit at his face. He manages to slip from my grasp and rolls on top of me. He cleans his face and wipes the spit on my shirt.

"Katniss, I guess you could call it a… dominance thing? I am always on top, remember that." He caresses my face. "You can't be in charge right now, I wont allow it. And about you having the bow? It creates an unnecessary danger. I don't need you using that on me." Its true, I probably would use it on him. "Young love, it drives you to do crazy things that maybe you don't mean sometimes."

"Get off of me!" I huff.

"It was you who started this, and I wont let you end it."

He pins my arms to my side, making it impossible for me to get up. His sheer weight alone stops me from moving.

"I'm not in the mood for this Cato." He stops me from speaking and covers my mouth with his. It's hard not to give in to temptation, because Cato is an excellent kisser. I am in a battle with my lips, willing them not to kiss back.

"Aw come on Katniss! Live a little, ok?"

I yank both wrists out from under his hands and bring his head closer so he can hear me. His smell is almost intoxicating, I have to hold my breath for an extra second before speaking..

"Get off of me or I will castrate you right here." I push the knife I had picked up earlier into his groin. He gets the message, and he's off of me in an instant.

"I'm going to remember this. Don't think I won't, because I will."

I sigh, I'm going to pay for this that's for sure. Cato will get me back when I least expect it.

He takes my arm and pushes me toward the cornucopia.

"Stop trying to pull this shit, you cant fool them by attacking me. They'll eventually figure it out Katniss." He says in a low voice. "Now go help Glitch with whatever the hell he's doing." He pushes me towards Glitch.

"Asshole…" I glance at Glitch. "So… what District are you from again?"

"D-d-district 3." He gets busy with some wires; he had taken apart the land mines from the platforms.

I lean in closer towards him, he's doing something I've never seen before. The way he works, it's interesting and almost an art form in and of itself.

"What is it that you're doing anyway?"

"Well you see if I just put these wires together then i-i-it should cause a t-train reaction that blows up the entire place! I-I-I mean if anyone steps on it! Don't worry I will teach you how to avoid it. The other tributes that come our way, they may not be so l-lucky."

"That sounds… dangerous." What if I step on it? "Where are you going to put them?"

"Well I'm glad you asked Katniss." Cato appears behind me. "Stutter here is going to put them in a circle around the food, we're going to start building it up in a pile soon. Anyone who tries to grab it will blow up. It's the perfect trap really, eventually everyone is going to be halfway starved to death and this will be their only realistic option."

"That's got to be one of the most stupid ideas I've ever heard of!" Cato cocks his head.

"How is it stupid? Its genius."

"Well suppose someone does blow up, where are _we_ supposed to get food?"

Cato ponders that question for a bit, he paces back and forth around me.

"Well I guess you will have to figure that out yourself. I want you on duty tonight with me." He glares. "First thing in the morning we go after Peeta."

The first hour of watch wasn't so bad, it was actually quite relaxing, not a noise to be heard. Well, it _was_ relaxing until Cato decided to grace me with his company.

"How are you doing?"

"How do you think I am doing? I saw things today that I should have never seen, things that you enjoyed. My family and friends are all watching this blood bath right now, hoping that I can somehow survive." I sigh. "And you know what I-"

An image flashes in the sky, and a voice disrupts the silence of the night.

"Congratulations on surviving the first day of the Hunger Games! A very good show indeed!"

Images of the fallen tributes light up the sky. One, two, three… eleven in totally dead. Thirteen tributes remain in the arena, eight if you don't count the career group. I cant believe so many innocent lives were lost in such a short amount of time.

I wonder if Peeta is ok, he has to be. I'm sure Peeta teamed up with someone and is hunting down others as I think to myself. There has to be some way I can make out with supplies and find him… I glance over to Glimmer. She has the supplies guarded. Cato isn't an idiot either, as much as I'd like to think he is. He manipulates me, he knows how my body reacts to his and just loves to torture me. I know he's trying to set up a connection where I feel obligated to stay, and I still am falling into his trap anyway. It's ridiculous, the whole world is ridiculous.

"Katniss, why don't you just come with me over here." Cato motions over. I follow him around the corner of the cornucopia where a tent is set up. "Found it in the supplies, its _my_ tent, no one else can use it. Nobody else but you and me." He winks. I let out a disgusted noise and just walk away. He's quick to grab my elbow and pull me back. "I told Marvel to go on watch duty, come with me and get some sleep. It looks like you're about to fall over. We're going to need all the rest we can get."

He's right, I am exhausted from the day's events, and I _don't_ want to sleep outside like Glitch. Everyone has a tent but that poor boy.

"Yeah that doesn't sound too bad right now…" I yawn and join him in the tent. It's a lot roomier than I had previously expected.

I'm sorry Peeta, I really am. I'm sorry Prim, I really am betraying you aren't I? I'm betraying myself too. I truly am sleeping with the enemy.


	11. Eleven (updated 4 23 2013)

**"Oh you've _got_ to be kidding me." Cato has _one_ sleeping bag, the only problem is that there are two of us.**

"Hey, we have limited resources, we've got to make do with what we have! And I mean, lets face it, it's not exactly a bad thing." Cato grabs me by the waist and goes in for a kiss but I push him away.

"_No_." He forces his head into the crook of my neck and kisses my collarbone. "_No_ Cato!" Id be naïve if I were to think he'd stop. "Alright I will share _if_ you will just _stop_!

"Deal… for now." He squeezes my ass and I jump a few inches in the air. I can't help but to smile when he kisses me again.

"You promised to stop!" What happened to staying as far away from him as possible? And why, oh God _why_, am I enjoying his company? "Alright, now look away."

"Why?"

"I'm going to get undressed!" I don't have an extra set of clothes but stripping down to my underwear will keep them fresh for a while longer.

"Katniss, how many times do I have to tell you that you don't have anything that I haven't seen before?" He eyes my body from head to toe. "But if you insist." He places his hands over his eyes.

"What a turn of events." I quickly undress but Cato sneaks in a peak. "Hey! I said no looking!" I throw my shirt over his face and jump into the sleeping bad pulling it over my body as fast as possible.

"Unlike _you_ I have no shame." He disrobed in a matter of seconds. I can see his torso, along with all eight of his perfectly sculpted abs. "Now move over I'm cold and tired."

I sluggishly roll my body over to make room for him and he slides down next to me. I don't like his proximity but he's so warm and I just need to sleep.

"Don't get any ideas now, I am strictly _sleeping_." I furrow my eyebrows. "Anyway you're a total jerk to everyone around here and I don't particularly like jerks. Actually I hate them."

"Ok Katniss." He wraps his arms around my body and pulls me in, I feel oddly safe in his arms. "That's why you giggle and smile like there's no tomorrow every time you're with me."

"Cut the bull shit. I wouldn't call this morning very enjoyable." If only he could see the smirk on my face. "You're a bully, you pick on the small guys to make you feel better. Well you aren't any better than anyone else."

"Let's just forget about this, get some sleep. In a few hours I'm going to hunt down that _boyfriend_ of yours. When I get my hands on him..." His fingers clench the sides. "I'm going to rip his throat out." Peeta…

I wonder what Prim is thinking right now. Is she disappointed in me? I'm sure she senses that Cato is trouble, someone I shouldn't be right next to. Shame on me for allowing this to go so far. Shame on me for being so weak, and instead of fighting I just cower in the corner hoping for the best.

Sleep overcomes me.

* * *

_"But Peeta! They're going to find us!"_

_"Don't worry about them Katniss, nobody will look for us here! It's safe."_

_"I'm afraid, I don't want _him_ to find out." Sounds of someone stepping on dry grass can be heard. "Oh God, he's coming."_

_"Katniss! Katniss? Katniss where are you?" I can hear Cato yelling for me, trying to find me._

_"He's coming for me Peeta!" I hiss. Tears are already streaming down my face._

_"He wont hurt you any more Katniss, I'm here for you, remember that." He holds my chin for a few seconds before kissing me tenderly._

_"You always know how to make me feel better. What would I do without you?" I bring Peeta in for an embrace but as soon as I hug him I free fall for a few seconds before hitting the floor with a thud. My body aches, but I slowly get to my feet. "Wha-"  
_

_Every single source of light around me goes out one by one, but one crack of it above my head is still going strong. Like a spotlight it illuminates a circle around me, and follows me wherever I try to run._

_"Katniss Everdeen." Peetas voice is coming from every direction._

_"What? Peeta? Where are you?" I whirl my head around but there's no sign of him. "Peeta is that you?"_

_"You never loved me Katniss Everdeen."_

_"That's not true! I did... do... love you Peeta!"_

_"You spurned me Katniss Everdeen."_

_"No Peeta! It was never like that!" Tears are now pouring out of my eyes. I try to run towards the voice but wherever I go darkness follows. "Please Peeta talk to me!"_

_"I'm dead, and it's all your fault Katniss Everdeen."_

_"You, you can't be dead! That's not possible! You can't die Peeta, you're too strong for death." I fall to my knees and start sobbing. "You… you cant be dead."_

_"You must pay for hurting me Katniss Everdeen."_

_"Stop it! Stop saying my name like that! Stop messing with my head!" My hands go to my head, I am pulling my hair and hitting my forehead with my palm. "Get out of my head!"_

_"I sentence you to death, **girl on fire**." A cackling laugh echoes through the room._

_"Wh-what? Cato? Cato is that you?" I jump up, my face contorts and sadness is replaced with anger. "Cato who the fuck do you think you are?" I twirl around and find myself face to face with my Prim, my beautiful angelic Prim. My little duck._

_"Oh my God! Prim what are you doing here, you have to get out Cato-." Prim falls limp in my arms, a knife is sticking out of her back. "What the… Prim?" I cradle her and my hand hovers over the knife, unsure on what to do. "Oh God why? Who would do this to you?" _

_"I don't want to take all the credit but…" I feel a warm trick of blood down my back, followed but a sharp pain. "I did." Cato kisses my neck._

* * *

I jerk awake and start screaming and thrashing.

"Get away from me!" Cato grabs my shoulders and pushes me down to hold me still. "Don't touch Prim! Don't touch _me_!"

"Calm down God dammit! You're just going to attract unwanted attention! What is your problem anyway? Get a grip!" He pulls my body even closer than before and stops me from moving. I control my breathing a little better.

"It was a bad dream Katniss, that's all. It was just a dream." He kisses the top of my head and rocks our bodies just a bit. "Don't worry I'm here with you."

"Can you tell that girl to shut the hell up? Some of us don't want to die tonight ya know!" I can hear Clove shout, she's probably look out on top of the cornucopia.

"I-I-I'm safe now… Prim is safe too."

"Yeah, you are safe. Don't worry about it right now Katniss, just go back to sleep.

Where has this Cato been, and why isn't he being his usual jerk self?

"Ok." I control my emotions and exhale deeply. It was just a dream… I really have to stop dreaming of Prim and I dying.


	12. Twelve (updated 4 24 2013)

The sound of Cato screaming woke me up almost instantly, I can already tell this day will go well.

"Get up! We have things to do! Finding baker boy is my top priority, and _you_ are going to help me find him."

"Well good morning to you too Cato." Way to be a total dick this morning. "Why is finding Peeta so important to you anyway?"

He crouches down and leans in towards me, he plants a kiss on my lips.

"He wanted… wants… you. I cant have that, you're mine."

"I am no ones!" I stand up and grab my clothes, quickly dressing. "Don't think because of last night that I actually like you. News flash, I'm using you."

"I'm using you too Katniss, we're all using each other, don't feel too special. And here's a news flash for you, there are no cameras in the tent. Everything you did yesterday, a waste of time in your precious game." He smirks, then spits at my feet. "Don't flatter yourself." The collar of my shirt is grabbed. "Don't you ever do it. You are mine, nobody else can even _look_ at you."

"_Get your hands off of me._" I slap his hand and step back. Did that seriously just happen? Well Cato can go screw himself if he thinks I'm going to be all docile with him ever again. How can I possibly be obedient to his wishes? I get that we're using each other, but the least he can do is treat me like a human being. "You know what Cato? You can go fuck yourself." I lash out.

"Katniss, you are _disposable_, don't think that you're not. I can get rid of you at _any_ time, you are not the least bit essential to my goals."

"B-but you just said that I was _yours_, doesn't that mean that you need me?" Oh god please don't kill me now…

"Nobody can have you if I cant have you, nobody, not even your family. You're as good as dead. So, your only option is to submit. Stop trying to win, because you're not going to."

I stifle back tears, and just nod my head. The bastard does this every time. I think he's the sweetest thing one moment but the next….he…he just… ugh.

"As much as I love hearing you two fight, I really want to move on with our day." Marvel pokes his head into the tent. "Glitch set up the mines, and I told him if he even thought about running away we'd throw him on top of one." Marvel makes an exploding sound with dramatic hand gestures.

"Excellent. Marvel, get everyone together, we're on the hunt for _Peeta_." The way he said Peetas name…. "Katniss, I like you, but don't make me do something that doesn't need to be done." He takes my chin in his hand, and pushes it up so I am looking into his eyes.

"I think you've made your thoughts clear, Two."

"Aw Katniss don't be like that! Look, I just got a little upset ok? I really don't want to get rid of you if I don't have too."

"Very thoughtful."

Cato exits the tent and I just fall to my knees. No cameras in here? I felt a connection with Cato yesterday and I don't know what's going on with him. Why is it one minute he's so caring, and the next he's not? What is going on inside that brain of his? My mother talked about some people going crazy, changing personalities as often as they changed their clothing. He's sick in the head… he must have multiple personality disorder or something like that.

I think it's best if I keep my distance, he may snap at any moment. I don't want to get caught in one of his moods where he isn't himself. Or is the mean Cato the real Cato and the nice one just some side personality….?

Cato is calling my name again, I exit the tent to join him and the other careers.

"Alright, here's the plan…" Cato starts. "And after combing the woods for any stragglers we go for Peeta." He looks me in the eyes. "I don't want his death to be quick. I want him to wish he was never born, to call out for his mother, to pray for mercy." I gag.

"I think I'm going to enjoy this." Clove grins. "We should look around the river, anyone stupid enough to stay there deserves to die anyway."

"Good idea, we can drown them." Glimmer says with a giggle.

"And can I please be the one to kill Peeta? I can just _imagine_ sinking my knife into his gut already…" Clove grins.

"No! Nobody touches him but me! Got it?" Everyone nods. "Good."

"Oh shit, I almost forgot! Last night while Glimmer and I were on patrol we saw a fire about three hundred yards that way." Marvel points to the woods to the west from our camp.

"Didn't you think that was a little _important_, Marvel?" Cato wraps his fingers around his throat. "Isn't that something you should have _shared_, perhaps?" He tightens his grip even more.

"Yes! Yes I'm sorry it was a mistake!" He sputters out. "I won't do it again."

Cato lets go of Marvel and picks up a sword from the pile of weapons we have collected. He then walks over to Glitch, already freaked out by the confrontation, and pokes the sword at his chest.

"Do _not_ leave this _exact_ spot, if I see that you've moved even an inch your head will grace the tip of this sword. Understand?"

Glitches head bobbed up and down so quickly I thought he might have fallen over from being dizzy.

"Alright Marvel, lead the way."

After walking for a short while we came to a make shift camp, the fire recently put out.

"Whoever it is, they're still around." Clove bends down and examines some broken sticks. "These tracks are still fresh, I'd say made within the last few minutes."

I sit on a nearby log, there's no way I am helping them do anything.

"Glimmer I want you to see which way they went, and Marvel, get ready to make a shish-kabob." He smiles at the spear Marvel is holding, probably getting some sick satisfaction of a dying tribute impaled with it.

I hear some cracking branches behind me, nobody else seems to notice.

Slowly I turn my head, careful not to let the others know that something is up, what if its Peeta trying to get me? Just when my head is fully turned a tribute is making her way towards me, running at full speed, knife in hand.

"Watch out!" I shreak.

She pounces.


	13. Thirteen (updated 04 24 2013)

**The tribute jumps on top of me and spins me around, a knife is pressed into my neck and I start to feel blood trickle down my jugular.**

"One wrong move and I'll kill her!" I panicked voice barks from behind me.

"Drop the knife, because if you don't I will make it my personal vendetta to make sure your death is so agonizingly painful that you'll wish you were never _born_." Cato takes a bold step forward.

"What's the difference anyway? Either way I die! This is the Hunger Games after all. There's only one winner and it will be a cold day in Hell if I win. If I'm going to die... I'm going to take you all with me! You watch! Why not go out in style? I've watched your kind long enough to notice that you're attached to this one." The knife is pressed a bit harder and the pain is getting to be a little too much. "Would you mind if I disposed of her?"

"Please, please don't hurt me!" I cry out in pain.

"Oh come on, we are all going to die! You were going to be killed sometime soon anyway. I promise, it wont hurt too much... maybe"

I don't want to die like this… I don't want to die at all! Assessing my surroundings I notice that Marvel has disappeared. One look to Cato confirms my suspicions that he is going to try to make a rescue attempt. The girls left arm is across my chest, keeping me from struggling too much. Her right arm is across my throat, the knife pressing into it. The only way I can get out of the way of whatever they're planning is to use my feet.

With all the force I could muster up I bring my leg up and slam it down onto her toes. She releases me and instinctively goes to grab her foot.

Marvel, who had aptly hidden himself from view throws his spear and it pierces right shoulder. She takes a few steps forward and falls on top of me.

"Get her off! Get her off of me!" I start to cry and when Cato shoves her body to the side. I throw up. I throw up until I cant anymore, and now I'm just dry heaving.

I can hear the girl screaming in pain next to me, clutching her shoulder and trying to crawl away.

"I can't believe we didn't see that coming!" Glimmer pouts. "She must have been hiding in the trees, there's so much foliage here." She walks over to the girl and steps on her back, stopping her from moving another inch. "I don't think you're going anywhere."

"That is never going to happen again, from now on I want you to be on watch at all times. That was unnecessary and a waste of valuable time." Cato walks over to me and offers a hand. I accept it and he pulls me up. "Are you ok?"

"No I'm not ok! I mean how would you feel if you were just attacked and almost murdered?"

Instead of answering he goes to touch my throat.

"Looks like you were cut pretty badly. You aren't going to bleed out or anything but this can definitely get an infection." He pauses. "You need something for this. Her knife was dirty and dull, no telling what else was on it either." He pauses again. "You were weak out there, asking for mercy, stop doing that."

I grab my throat and try to apply pressure to stop the bleeding. Cato pushes aside some of my hair that had fallen over my face, and stares into my eyes.

"I'm going to kill you all! Just watch! You… you can't kill me! I can't die!" The girl is crying again, and spouting expletives at all of us.

"You remember how I told you that if you didn't drop that knife that I'd make sure you would wish you were never born?" Cato walks away from me and to the girl and bends down to speak to her. "Well, the fun is just about to start." A wicked grin spreads across Cato's face.

Cato grabs the girl by her right arm, and an agonizing scream escapes her mouth. He then throws her at Marvel who keeps her standing.

"I don't want you to have a quick death, because, quite frankly, death is too good for you." Cato speaks softly in her ear. "Clove! Why don't you come over here, and bring your knife."

"With pleasure."

* * *

After an hour, Clove and the others had successfully cut small incisions all along the girls body, careful not to cut too deep. Marvel tied some rope that he brought along with him around her ankles, and they hung her upside-down from a tree branch. They tortured her, and they all did it with smiles on their faces.

"Katniss, I need you over here." Cato hands me a knife, and I grab it. "I want you to cut her throat, be careful we don't want her to die just yet."

Do I do it? The girl, even though I hated her for trying to kill me, I don't think she should have to suffer like this. The Games, it pits us all against each other, makes us do crazy things. I don't want to look weak though; it's not the time for that. Maybe I can gain their trust more, gain a little more freedom. With just a bit more trust I could have a better chance for escape.

I bring the knife to her throat, and in a feeble attempt the girl tries to swing away from me.

"Now, if you tell us what we want to know, we will free you. And don't even think about lying because I will know, and it will _not_ be good for you." Cato declares.

"I don't know anything… I don't even know what you want to know." She whispers, probably too weak to make herself any more audible.

"Oh, I think you know what information I'm after."

"I… I've been by myself this whole time. Hiding, getting whatever I can from the woods."

"Where are the others?" Cato says a aggressively.

"I don't know what you're talking about!"

"Don't you fucking lie to me." He spits on her. "Katniss, its time. Slice her throat open."

I am just about to do it but her screams stop me.

"No! No! I'll tell you! Please don't kill me…"

"That's better. Start."

"There's a boy. He's not far from here, I saw him by the river. And I've seen a pair walking around the woods before, I think they're from District 11. There have been a few others, but they just passed through, I haven't seen anyone else I swear! I've been trying to hide in the woods, I didn't want to kill anyone, and I just wanted to get out of here without dying. Please, that's all I know!"

"See how _easy_ that was?" The girl starts weeping again; how she still had tears I don't know. "Ok Katniss." He nods to me.

"But you said if she told you that we wouldn't kill her?" I question him.

"I lied." I hear the girl protesting, still swaying from the tree branch.

Slowly i bring my knife to hear throat again, and i hold it there for a while, trying to will myself to just do it already. I hang my head down and sigh, pulling the knife away.

Cato probably figured at this point that I wouldn't, or couldn't, cut her throat. He snatches the knife from my hand and in one swift motion slits her throat open.

"Now, this wont kill you for a little while, but eventually you will drown from your own blood. I hear its quite painful, an agonizing death to say the least." A gurgling sound escapes her lips. "Let that be a lesson learned, you do not fuck with me." He shouts into the woods, I'm assuming as a warning to all tributes within hearing distance. "You hear that? Don't fuck with _me_!" He shouts even louder.

Smirks spread across everyone's faces; I think I'm the only one who didn't enjoy that.

"Nice work team." Marvel laughs. "A good team effort there."

"I think you should go back and stay with Glitch." Cato turns to me, as if what just occurred never even happened. "You're not strong enough." He taps his head. "To be with us."

"What? No!" I hate being with Cato, and the rest of them, they do sickening things, but this might be my only chance to find Peeta. And when I find him he can help me get away… we can survive alone now that a majority of tributes have fallen. The girl said a boy had been around the river, it could have been Peeta!

"Look Katniss, I don't want a repeat of what just happened. I know you heard her coming, you heard her a lot sooner than we did. You just chose not to say anything because you want to be a little smart ass." My expression displays utter shock. "Yeah, I know you hunt, Katniss, You've trained yourself to hear these things."

"No! I want to help now! Please don't make me go back I promise I'll warn you sooner next time!"

"How do we know you wont just set us up?" Clove spits at me. "You're just trash and that's all you'll ever be. You probably wont even tell us when the next one is running at us. Well here's something to heed, if that ever happens again, I'll let them kill you. Better yet, I'll even help."

"I'm pretty handy with a knife if I do say so myself. Wouldn't mind carving up someone again, especially a traitor. Let what just happened be a warning to you, because next time it will be _you_ I'm hanging from the tree branch."

"So girl on fire, are you going to be an asset to us or not?" Marvel questions.

I wonder what Haymitch is thinking, he probably wants me to go back to Glitch and hope that some others die to better my chances. Lay low and then pounce. Or maybe he isn't, maybe he's thinking 'go big or go home'. Haymitch would probably say both and then proceed to pass out.

Effie just wants me to survive in general, can't move up in her career without winning the Hunger games.

"Fine… I'll help you. But only if you promise not to kill Peeta when we find him."

"No! That is ridiculous!" Cato shouts.

"You aren't in a position to make requests Katniss." Glimmer sneers. "What makes you think you can go around and demand things?"

"Well I'm pretty skilled, I'm probably the best killer here." I say the word killer carefully. "And Peeta can be an asset to us!"

"Says the girl who scored a one, and couldn't even cut a measly throat open." Glimmer laughs.

"The only problem is that you're useless without a bow. So Katniss I wont allow it at all. There's no way out of his fate, it's sealed. Anyway, why would i want to let him live? Hes in love with you! And you're **mine**. Make no mistake Katniss, when we find him I _will_ kill him, and I will enjoy it." He grabs me and forces a kiss between us. "Don't forget what we're trying to accomplish Katniss." He whispers into my ear.

I curse Cato, he just had to throw the bow away. My only weapon… my only means of escape.

"We've wasted too much time here. Anyone around would have definitely heard what was going on and made themselves scarce. What a shame, what we just did was fun." I almost choke. "I cant wait to do it some more."

"I say we head east, towards the river, where she said that boy was." Clove states.

"No! Lets head west!" Marvel interjects.

"We move forward with our plan." Cato looks at the dead tribute. "If we don't find him tonight then we will set up camp and start early in the morning. He couldn't have gone far. Wherever he is… There are three things all the tributes need; food, water, and shelter. Most of the tributes will stay near the river for the water."

"We should follow it, someone's bound to show up, even if they ran away from all the noise we just made." Glimmer giggles. "I can just imagine the look of surprise on their faces once we find them."

"It's a plan." Cato declares.

Oh Peeta, don't be near the river. I don't want to find you anymore, because if I find you with them… your fate will be worse that that girls.

I need to get away from the careers before I even think about finding Peeta.

Out of the corner of my eye I can see a sponsor gift floating down from the sky.


	14. Fourteen (updated 04 25 2013)

"Um… wait hold on I need to… go to the bathroom… over there." I point to the bushes where the gift had fallen and quickly make my way over there.

"Don't take too long, we need to get going." Cato shouts.

With the bushes hiding me I quickly grab and open the package; medicine is inside with a note from Haymitch.

**_Have him put this on your cut, without it you are dead. Dirt was not the only thing on that knife. Try to do a better job of convincing Panem of your romance._**

**_ -Haymitch, and everyone else rooting for you to win_**

Great, he has to touch me some more! Why can't I just do it myself Haymitch? I don't see how him putting medicine on my wounds is romantic. I give a dirty look and the middle finger to the sky, hopefully Haymitch gets the message.

"Are you done yet?" Clove says with a huff. "How long does it take to take a piss?"

"Uh yeah." I get up and walk back to the group. "I found this when I was there, the sponsors sent me medicine."

"Oh really?" Cato raises an eyebrow. "And it just so happened to be in the bushes where you were taking a piss?"

"Yes," I grit my teeth. "And I can't really reach the spot where she cut me." I nod to the tributes hanging body. "Can you…" I give him a half smile, accompanied by batting eyelashes.

"Sure thing babe." Cato takes the medicine and goes to put it on my neck before I stop him.

"Can we have some privacy?" I ask the others.

"I think I'm going to be sick…" Glimmer pouts.

"Ditto." Clove throws her knife into a nearby tree. "I'm going to throw up."

"Wow katniss, alone in the woods, just the two of us. How _romantic_ of you." I roll my eyes at him as he puts the medicine on my wound.

Instantly my neck is feeling ten times better, too bad it had to be Cato that helped me. He closes up the jar and puts the medicine in his pocket.

"Thanks... for doing that for me." I give Cato a quick peck on the lips.

Cato decides he has other plans, he immediately starts kissing my neck, where my wound just was.

"You're so beautiful." I hold back the impulse to throw him off of me. "I'm glad you… came to your senses." I can feel Cato smile while he kisses me.

"What was I even thinking?" I take a breath and start kissing Cato again. "Trying to run away from this, from us, this?" He forces his tongue into my mouth to keep me from saying anymore.

He quickly starts to take off my top, I press my hands to his chest, and he stops for a moment.

"Not now Cato." He grins and starts kissing me again, hands making their way up my shirt.

Instead of letting him take my shirt off I help him with his; he raises both arms so taking it off is a breeze. He presses his perfect body back onto me. I didn't want to end up like this with him, but if this is what the audience wants… I guess this is what the audience gets. I have a sick feeling that Cato could care less about what the audience wanted anyway.

His hands go to my pants, and I try to move away but his sheer weight alone keeps me under him.

"Katniss stop struggling, it will be quick. You're going to love every minute of it, I promise."

I didn't expect it to go this far, I thought maybe a few kisses here and there… a shirt or two to come off… but I did not expect him to try and have sex with me. I can only pray that Gale isn't watching, or Prim, or Mother…

All of a sudden a loud explosion occurs, from where we came from. And that can only mean one thing…

"Glitch." Cato curses under his breath, and he jumps off of me. "Glimmer, Clove, Marvel, we need to get to the cornucopia _now_." That explosion just saved me, but I can't expect the consequences will be good for Glitch.

"Why is your shirt off?" Marvels eyes go to me. "Ahh, nice man." He high fives Cato, pigs.

"Do you mind saving that shit for another time?" Glimmer says, with a jealous tint to her voice. "C'mon lets get going!" The group starts running towards the sound.

It's my chance to get out of here, and I take it. Sorry Haymitch, but there has been a change of plans. Instead of running with them I run to the tree where Clove had embedded her knife and pull it out, I turn my body towards the river, and start running. Peeta, Peeta, Peeta, where are you?

"How about _no_." Clove tackles me, trying to pin me down and get the knife.

"Get off of me!" I manage to get out from under her, and try to get away but she grabs my ankle and I fall back onto the forest floor. "Aghh." Shes clawing her way up and tries to grab my throat, and then a hand is on my face trying to gouge my eyes out.

"Don't think you can try to take my knife and get away with it!" The pressure is getting ridiculous and I feel like my eyes are going to implode any second now, the pain is almost too much to bear. "All you have ever been… is fucking trouble… trust me I am doing the world a favor by getting rid of you…" I don't let her go any further, I grab the knife and pierce her back, right where her heart would be.

Clove slumps over and I push her off. With her last breath she murmurs in my ear._ "He'll never love you the way he loved me."_ A cannon sound goes off and I know she's dead. I take out the knife and stand up, surprised that I had actually killed her. I back away from her body until my back hits a tree.

"Nooo!" It's Cato, and he's running towards me. "What did you just _do_?" I brace myself for impact but he runs right past me and grasps Clove. Cato does something I've never seen him do, he _cries_. "Why did you do that?" He's wailing and holding her body to his, as if it will bring her back.

"I… I… I… she tried to _kill_ me… what was I _supposed_ to do?"

They're rocking back and forth together; he's kissing her and saying sweet things in her ear, asking her to come back to him. He said things to her that made me almost feel sympathetic towards them. But he knows that she's dead, she can't ever come back, the Games never let's anyone come back. No matter how much he kisses her, or rocks her, she is just as dead as before. All of a sudden he drops her limp body, and his tears are replaced with pure rage. He stands up and starts walking towards me, and then he starts charging. "You… _you_ did this!"

Stupid me again should had just taken the chance to run a minute ago. I try to escape before he can get to me but he's too fast. He's on me in an instant. Fists are meeting my face and it's getting hazy. I had let go of my knife some time ago. He then gets up and starts kicking me in the side, all I can do it curl up in a ball and try to protect my head.

He's yelling at me, and crying, all he is shouting is_ 'why'_ with every punch and kick. Too many 'whys' have hit me and I fear that one more of them and I lose consciousness, which would not be good. God knows what he would do with me, he'd probably keep me alive and do horrible things, the possibilities are endless for him.

And then I do something that probably nobody expected; I decide I'm not going to be his plaything anymore, or his punching bag. He's had a hold over me this whole time but I wont let him do this to me anymore. I throw my first punch back at him.

He is surprised to say the least, probably not expecting me to fight back. I fumble around looking for Cloves knife, and when I feel it I quickly grab it. I backhand him and run with all the force I could gather into his chest, knocking him over.

Cato screams out in pain, because a knife is now inserted into his leg. It's not a critical wound but it will put him to a disadvantage for the rest of the game, unless a sponsor sends him something like they did for me.

"You fucking bitch! When I get my hands on you…" He inches towards me while I try to back away as quickly as possible. I kick him in the face a few times, trying to shake him off of me. He manages to get on top of me again and grabs my throat as I claw at his hands.

I don't know if Cato would go as far as to kill me, surely he knew that I'd have to kill eventually. It seems like Cato will never stop, and that my throat will collapse with all the force he is putting onto it. He is trying to squeeze my life away.

"Cato, I think you'd better... get back to the cornucopia… and see what happened." I manage to say through clenched teeth and rasping breaths. He knows I'm right too; the look on his face is disappointment.

"I guess we're going to have to leave now." He grabs me and throws me over his shoulder. I kick and scream as loud as I possibly could, at this point I am just slowing him down and thats all I'm ever going to be doing for the rest of the games. As he lets go of me, and it gives me immense satisfaction. "I will not forget this Katniss, and I will come back and get you." He's out of sight within seconds.

Why does everyone grab my throat as their go to method of trying to kill me. I scramble to my feet, there's no time to lose. I have to get as far away from the careers as possible. Cato will make good on his promise, and I know he will come back to get me as soon as he can.

I start running towards the river, and when I reach it I walk along its edge. I notice how parched I am, and I can't remember when the last time I had a drink of water was. I cup my hands into the river and just drink for a minute. If I were Peeta where would I be? I have no idea…

I get up and start pacing, trying to think of all the places he could have gone. Peeta could be anywhere by now. He can't be dead though, I would have seen his image in the sky. And I only remember hearing one or two canons go off, one for Clove an one for that girl.

Exhausted from walking for so long I sit down on the ground, as I do my stomach starts to make noises. Great, I didn't eat all day either and now I'm probably going to starve to death.

"Hey… do you think… you could get off of me… I can't… breathe…" A voice comes out from under me.

I jump up, was that… no it couldn't be. I frantically look around my surroundings. I don't see him at all.

"_Peeta_? Is that you? Where are you?" I look down and see two eyes and smile, his body is camouflaged into a rock.

"You're still... Standing on me…. Can't breathe…. Remember?"

"Oh my God! Peeta! Did I hurt you? Where have you been this whole time? Why are you in the ground?" So many questions, so little time. I jump off of him to let him breathe.

I help Peeta stand up, his leg has been badly wounded. I bring him over to a rock to sit on. I am just about to ask him some more questions, but I am interrupted by the sounds of the careers making their way over. I am surprised they got his this fast.

"What are we going to do?" I desperately search for a hiding place. "Is there any place we can hide?"

"There's a cave… not even fifty feet from here. Its well hidden… it's that way." He nods his head towards some foliage. "Couldn't get there myself, darn leg."

Getting him there was not easy, he weighed a good amount and without the use of a leg it took a little longer than it should have. But we made it just in time, because Cato showed up right as we both hid ourselves.

"Was she here?" It's Cato speaking.

"These tracks are freshly made. Someone was here, I'd say... within the last few minutes." Glimmer starts walking around the river, getting a little too close for comfort to our hiding area.

I can make out Cato, who looks very pissed off. He's got a blood soaked bandage wrapped around his leg, but he isn't limping. He probably used my medicine on it. It wasn't smart of me to not take it back.

"Katniss, or whoever else is out there, and I know there's somebody, you better listen up." A shaking Glitch is pushed in front of Cato, probably scared to death. "If you _ever_, and I mean **_ever_**, try to fuck us over again, this will happen to _you_." Cato draws out a long, and very sharp sword. Glitch is pushed to his knees, Cato swings back, and cleanly slices Glitchs head off.

I stagger back, holding my hand to my mouth so I don't cry out. Poor Glitch. He probably didn't do anything wrong… I can just imagine it being some tribute setting off the mines, not Glitch.

Marvel throws a spear to Cato, who lodges it into Glitchs head, and then stakes it into the ground.

"What happened?" Peeta moans from the corner. I rush over to him clamping my hand down onto his mouth.

"Shhh!" I whisper desperately at Peeta. "Be quiet!"

"Did you hear that?" Marvel starts walking around. "Sounded like someone talking."

"No, where did it come from?"

"There." He points directly towards where we are.

Shit.


	15. Fifteen (updated 04 27 2013)

**All I can do is stay as still as possible, hoping Marvel takes a peek inside and doesn't investigate into the cave any further. I hold Peeta to my body and hug the wall, trying to blend in with the shadows.**

"All right, check it out." Cato orders.

Marvel comes to the entrance of the cave and begins to push away the foliage keeping us hidden. He takes a step in, and then another.

I hold my breath and squeeze my eyes shut. Please, please, please….

A cannon goes off, and the faint sound of running can be heard.

And by the grace of God, Marvel stops. I exhale.

"Is that her?" Glimmer jumps to her feet.

"It's possible she had a run in with another tribute… want me to check out the cave or should we see what that was?" He shouts over to Cato. Stepping out of the cave again. Cato briefly considers not going into the cave.

"Yeah take a look, no harm in it."

I pray that the darkness has encased us fully, and he doesn't take a second look. What will I do if he finds us? Do I kill him and take my chances with Cato and Glimmer?

Marvel pushes the foliage back once more, and takes his first step into the cave. Twenty, maybe thirty more steps and he will find us. Darkness is my ally and luckily the cave is pitch black, thirty steps are enough to completely hide us, for now.

He takes five steps closer to us, looks around only to see nothing. Sweat drips down my brow. He kicks a few rocks to the side, and turns around to leave.

Then my body betrays me, my stomach growls. I've killed us.

Marvels head whips back and he creeps over.

"Katniss… is that you? Come on out, I wont hurt you, much." He chuckles. "Think of all the fun we can have? I wont tell Cato if you don't." He runs his finger along the cave wall.

He takes fifteen steps closer to us, bends down and picks up a rock, throwing it into the air and catching it a few times. Then with all the strength he has he steps back and chucks the rock into the darkness. A few echoes follow a clang. I cower into the wall, my body is trembling.

Then a rumbling from within the cave emits, and hundreds of bats pour out of the mouth of the cave.

I duck my head and hold Peeta even closer to me, the bats are getting stuck in my hair and they're hitting me at all points.

Marvel lets out a cry from being pelted with all the bats and runs out of the cave.

"What the fuck was that?" Cato growls.

"Look, I'm sorry man but the bats just came out of no where!" Ha grabs his thighs and is breathing heavily.

"The bats, you were afraid of the bats? You are weak! Marvel, afraid of _bats_! I should just kill you now, you're a waste of space."

"C'mon man, calm down!" Marvel backs away from Cato, throwing his arms up.

Glimmer runs in-between them, blocking Cato from putting his hands around Marvels neck.

"This is neither the place nor time, Cato." She looks deeply into his eyes. "We still have tributes to take out before we separate."

With a huff of anger Cato punches a tree, and then he punches it again.

"I want to find her!" He thrusts his hand into his pocket and pulls out the medicine. "That stupid bitch!" He chucks it into the cave. It lands just a few feet in front of us.

"She's a nobody! Who cares about what happens to her? She's nothing!"

Cato swiftly punches Marvel in the face; he staggers a bit and holds his nose, it's bleeding.

"Lets just go find other tributes, its time they died anyway. She's probably still alive Cato, she may be scum but she's not stupid."

Glimmer grabs Catos shoulders. He's breathing rapidly and is almost at his breaking point. Who knows what he'd do if he ever reached it.

"Well was there anything in that cave besides those god damn bats?"

"No, just the bats. She wasn't there. There were no signs of anyone being there." He pinches his nose to stop the bleeding.

"Let's get out of here, and find the person who ran." Cato stalks away, disappointment plastered all over his face.

A sigh of relief escapes me. I let my limbs hang loose.

"Peeta… what happened to you?" He doesn't answer me, he's passed out on my lap. "Oh Peeta…"

I slide him off of me, and crawl over to the medicine. I grab it and put all that I can on his leg. I say a quick thank you to Cato for being off the charts crazy, and just wait for the magic to happen.

In just a few minutes Peeta is coming to, he just sighs and looks up into my eyes.

"I thought we were going to die."

"Yeah, no thanks to you!" I laugh. "How did this happen, your leg I mean."

"I was cut by two tributes, I don't know who did it, all I know is that I managed to get away. They were hell bent on making my death as painful as possible. The infection got pretty bad though, all I could do was wait and hope you came around." He smiles feebly. "I… I haven't eaten in days."

I frown, he's weak, and in no condition to go anywhere.

"I haven't either… don't worry. I'll find us something." I put my hands in his hair. "I just have to leave for a little bit."

"Don't leave Katniss, its going to get dark any hour now. You don't want to get caught out there when it's dark. Not with those lunatics running around."

"Trust me, I've been hanging around with worse. But you're right, don't worry I wont leave you until the morning." I wrap my arms around Peeta and close my eyes. We'll keep each other warm for tonight.

* * *

I awake to the sound of screaming.

My first instinct is to check on Peeta, he's on the floor and sleeping like a baby.

I sneak up to the mouth of the cave and peer out. A young male tribute is hopping on one leg, and carrying an orange backpack in one hand. His face is bloody and a look of despair is all over his face.

Behind him trails two tributes, one male and one female. They're district partners.

"Where are you going? Don't you want to come back and play?" The female says.

"I don't think he does, what a shame, we were having so much fun!" The male pipes up.

The injured male tribute falls to the floor and tries to crawl away, but he's too slow. The orange backpack falls off of his shoulder and its contents spill out, he turns onto his back.

"Go to hell." Blood is coming out of his mouth.

"But sweetie." The girl bends down and kisses him on the mouth. "We're already there."


	16. Sixteen (updated 04 27 2013)

I looked away the whole time they tortured him, thinking to myself, could I have done something? I probably could have saved him, maybe. I could have killed them all too. My ears zone in to water droplets hitting the cave floor, the sound echoing in my ear. No, I couldn't have killed them both.

They left his corpse in the river, what was left of it anyway. Peeta and I can't drink from it anymore; we'll have to find a new source of water. We're too close for the hovercraft to come pick up his body, and the area is starting to stink from it decaying.

"I have to go, I'll be back later." I say to Peeta, passed out from exhaustion and hunger. I study his face for a few seconds, he's a lot more handsome than I gave him credit for. He's almost as handsome as…. I quickly shut that thought from my mind. "I won't come back empty handed." I give him a peck on the cheek. "Stay safe."

Like a cat I skillfully maneuver myself out of the cave and onto the riverbed without a sound, and snatch the bag that had fallen off the male tribute soldier. Not much is in it, some rope, two crackers, a 'knife' crudely fashioned from a branch.

Sighing I sling it onto my arm, shove the crackers down my throat, and run straight into the woods.

* * *

There are so many leaves on the ground that with every step I take a crunching occurs, it's a dead giveaway to my location.

Where to go… I look up into the vast sky. I wonder where we are, the sky seems real but I know its not. It's a computer-simulated world that we're in, puppets to the Game Makers. We could be in the Capitol right now, just miles away from civilization.

Jumping up I grab a tree branch and hoist myself up, climbing about halfway. I peer down, I'm maybe twenty feet up in the air.

I test the tree branch, it's pretty sturdy even with me jumping on it.

I sway back and forth, and then I take a leap of faith. I jump onto another tree.

I barely make it, nearly missed the branch. After jumping from two more trees I started to get the hang of it. Hopping through the trees was going to get me farther than if I was running. And I was even making less noise, figuring out how to place my feet on branches so I didn't make any unnecessary sounds.

So far I had traveled a good distance through the woods, maybe a mile or two.

Suddenly something unexpected occurred, a bird flew into me, and then another, and another. Soon I had a swarm of birds following me and pecking at me. All I could do was protect my face while trying to dodge tree branches. I cried out as a bird tore some flesh off of my arm, and another pelted me in the stomach. My hands were mere inches away from grasping the next branch.

I missed it, falling some twenty feet from the branch.

I yell out in pain, trying to locate the point of impact. Luckily, for me, I fell in some bushes and it cushioned my fall. My body is aching but the birds will not stop flying at me.

"_What the fuck are you_?" I scream, at first I start hopping and trip over some rocks. I stumble a few steps but manage to start running at a constant pace.

And who would have thought that the first people I run into is the pair that tortured that boy.

I run right into the male tribute, who grabs my shoulders.

"Well, who are you?" He says, smiling.

"It's the girl from District 12, the girl who scored a one."

"Wow, I'm surprised you've made it this far. Too bad you wont be making it any farther." He looks over to the bag slung over my shoulder, how it's managed to stay with me, I don't know. "Looks like you ran into our old friend." He grabs my jaw and forces me to look into his eyes. "And how was he?" He throws his head back and lets out a cackle. "Any last words?"

"Yeah…" I'm still panting from running. "I'd run if I were you."

He is surprised by my comment and I take the opportunity to knee him in the groin. He falls over, and in the process had let go of me. I bolt.

"Hey where do you think you're going you little bitch?" The female shouts at me. I reach into my bag and grab the makeshift knife and stab her in the chest as she went to grab me. The girl slowly draws out the knife, snaps it in half and throws it onto the floor. "Big mistake."

My attention is then taken by the screams from the male tribute. As he was on the forest floor the mutant birds started to swarm him. He did not move fast enough and they were on him tearing away his flesh like a pack of wild dogs. His screams were heart wrenching, even coming from a monster like him.

"Like I said, I'd run if I were you." I kick her in the back of the knee and high tail it out of there.

She manages to catch up with me but is not trying to bring me down, _she's trying to out run me_.

"You know, I was the fastest runner in my district." She says through clenched teeth. "Won…. All the…. Races."

By now the birds had picked off any trace of flesh from the male tributes body, leaving behind a pile of bones. I almost felt bad for him, almost.

"Yeah well, you're running for yourself. I'm running for my family." For Prim. I quickly take my backpack off and swing it at her, she was not expecting that and it slowed her down by a second or two. It was just enough time for the birds to swoop in and attack her. At first she tried to swipe them away, but they just kept tearing the flesh from her arms and she ran out of energy. From the sounds of her screaming it did not seem like a pleasant end, it sounded like the screams that came from the boy she tortured. Karma is a bitch.

I ran for another mile, but I had to skid to a stop before I ran off a cliff. It was a dead end; there was nowhere to go. It was a good three hundred feet to the bottom, a lake with jutting rocks would be my casket. I grabbed my thighs, I am out of breath. Think Katniss, what do you do?

Think. Think. Think. Think. Think. The birds, or rather the mutants I should say, because they are no ordinary birds, were in sight. Think!

I hold my head and just cry silently, what do I do?

"**_Haymitch_**."

I turn around, and after gaining enough speed and reaching the end of the earth, I jump.


	17. Seventeen (updated 04 29 2013)

**theres a dream that runs pretty much through the whole chapter, its _italicized_. **

**Also some of the chapter is in third person, i will state when it starts and when it ends. The dreams are in first person though.**

* * *

I had thought falling from twenty feet was excruciatingly painful, but falling from hundreds of feet, it was almost unbearable. As soon as I hit the water I blacked out.

Memories of the seam flooded my mind. Gale and I hunting, braiding my sisters hair, hugging my mother for the last time...

I don't know if the birds went away, they probably did, why would they follow me down to my death?

I mean, I'm dead right? My body is numb all over, and I can't even feel my face. If I could feel my thoughts I probably wouldn't have been able to feel them either.

My body is being dragged, that's all I know. I am slowly becoming aware that I am being pulled out of the water, and then suddenly Someone throws me over their shoulder.

The only sense I can fully rely on is my sense of smell, and it smells like death.

I black out again.

* * *

"_Wake up…" A voice whispers into my ear. "You've been asleep for ages."_

* * *

I flutter my eyes a few times, my vision is a bit blurry at first but after a few seconds I can make out my surroundings. How long have I been out? Hours? Days? Days, I decide.

I am in a makeshift bed by a warm fire, the crackling of embers reminds me of home.

"You're finally up, good." An unfamiliar voice addresses me. I try to speak but it's just too much effort and I am absolutely drained of energy. "It's ok, don't speak. You took a mighty big fall back there; you'll have to tell me what you were running from later on. Anyway, you narrowly escaped death after that fall, would you believe it? Slipped right between two rocks. It took me a few minutes to get to you, you're very lucky." I see the lake that I almost drowned in, it's only a few hundred feet away. I shudder. My stomach growls and I eyed the food in his hands; he was chewing on some cooked squirrel. He caught me staring and threw a leg to me, and I devoured it in seconds. "It wasn't me you know, who wanted to save you. It was all her idea." He nodded over to the woods.

At first I couldn't see anything, but then a head popped up from behind a tree, it was the District 11 girl. Slowly she walked toward me, watching to make sure I wouldn't try to attack her.

"You saved me." My throat hurt from taking in so much water and throwing it all up. "Why?"

"You aren't a killer, not in the heart. I thought we could be friends…" She whispers. "You're not like them. All they want to do is hurt people."

"Rue, you know that's not possible, you can't be friends. Not here." Her district partner says. "In the morning we're leaving." He addresses me next "We saved your life. Actually, Rue did all the work, healed you up best she could with what resources we had. The good deed's done and we'll part ways respectfully. It's not what I want. Personally, I'd have let you die before. It's what she wants, to let you live. To give you a chance at life."

"But Thresh, why can't she just come with us. You know, make one of those alliances? I saw her during training, she can shoot."

"And what good is that Rue? Without a bow and arrow? You just don't understand… you're too young" He sighs. "We either leave her, or we kill her." Rue winces at those words. "Make a decision now."

"We can't leave her, not like this. You wouldn't leave me behind if I was in her position, right? What makes her so different"

"H- how many are alive?" I manage to slip those few words out.

"I don't know. There are only a handful of us left. Six I think, including me. I don't remember I haven't been keeping track."

Six… Me, Thresh, Rue, Cato, Glimmer, Marvel… Peeta? I can rule out Thresh, Rue, and myself. That means…. Is Peeta one of the ones alive? Did I let him down? Did he starve to death in the cave? He must have died, oh my god he must have.

All of this information is too much, my head begins to throb and I lose consciousness once again.

* * *

_I awake to a hand brushing some hair out of my face. I grasp the hand and hold it closer, sighing into it._

"_Good morning sweetheart."_

"_Morning." I roll over to face Cato. "How are you?" I drape both of my arms around his shoulders, snuggling into his neck. He smells fantastic._

"_I'm doing great now that you're up." He kisses me passionately on the lips. _

"_I love you." I sigh._

_Cato cocks his head and gives me a boyish grin._

"_Well, I love you too." _

_I let a giggle slip as he turns me over on to my back, pinning me down as we kiss fervently._

"_What do you want to do today?" I manage to speak in broken words._

"_Whatever you want to do." He chuckles._

"_I don't want to leave this bed, I don't want to leave you. I want to stay here all day."_

"_We don't have to leave necessarily, but I'm sure the kids would mind…"_

"_The kids?" I wrinkle my nose. "What kids?"_

"_Our kids?" He looks into my eyes. "Did we go too hard last night?" He smirks._

"_No!" I hit him in the arm. "I just… I don't know, I forgot I guess." A light knocking is heard coming from our bedroom door. I have kids?_

"_Ah, speaking of our kids, here comes one now." Cato sits up in bed and embraces a small blonde child that runs through the door. "How's my favorite son?" _

"_Faye hit me." Tears are streaming down his face._

"_She hit you? I'll have to have a talk with your sister, remember no hitting unless supervised for the time being. Now, where'd she hit you?" The boy pointed towards his shoulder. Cato kisses it. "Feel better?" He nods, wiping tears from his eyes. "Why don't you go to your mother?" _

_The boy climbs across the bed and sits in my lap._

"_Hi…" What's his name? "Son." _

"_Mommy, everyone is talking about the Games right now since they're coming up soon. I want to go in the Games one day, and win, just like you and daddy. But Faye keeps winning, I can't ever beat her. How am I supposed to win if I can't even beat her?"_

"_The Games? No you wouldn't want that…" The games… I remember being in the games… It felt like I was there just a few minutes ago…_

* * *

**(Story switches to third person now)**

"I'll gladly kill her." Marvels voice comes out of nowhere.

Thresh and Rue are caught by surprise, they hadn't expected a tribute to venture this far out into the wilderness. They were teetering on the edge of the arena.

Marvel takes advantage of the delay in their reactions and jumps on Rue, he wrestles her to the ground and stabs her in the chest with a knife. Her eyes widen but return to normal as she breathes her last breath. She didn't even put up a fight. A canon goes off.

"She was just a little girl!" Thresh charges at Marvel and pushes him from Rue. "You murdered her!"

"It's the Games! Shit happens! People die. Get over it!"

"You didn't have to murder and innocent, you're a monster!" Thresh puts Marvel into a chokehold. "You. Deserve. To. Die."

Marvel is thrashing beneath Thresh and resorts to biting his arm, and tearing a chunk of flesh off of it. Thresh cries out in pain and lets go of Marvel with his one arm, allowing Marvel to twist Threshs arm so much that a loud snap is heard.

A broken arm is not enough to stop Thresh, who proceeded to ram Marvel into a tree until his nose and mouth are oozing blood.

"It'll take a lot more than that to stop me from getting what I came here for." Marvel spits blood into Threshs face. "A lot more."

"We'll have to see how much you can take, boy."

* * *

"_But why wouldn't I want that? You and daddy are famous now. You can do whatever you want, and I want to do that too!"_

"_Katniss, what's wrong with our son wanting to be a victor? If Theron wants to be a victor he will be, I have no doubt he would win." He turns to our son. "But Theron, you have a good year or two before we even send you off for training, how about you enjoy being a kid first, eh?" __He must be around seven years old. __ "It wasn't fair of Faye to hit you, but shes just practicing for the reaping coming up." Faye has to be over twelve, that must mean I'm in my thirties. Wow._

"_Ok if you say so…" Theron plays with the buttons on my shirt. "I'd win for you mommy."_

* * *

Thresh is kicking Marvel in the side, keeping him from getting up.

"This is for District 5, and this is for District 7, and this is for District 8, and _this_ is for Rue." Thresh deals a final kick to the side, he is panting and shaking.

Marvels hand shoots and he rips his knife all the way down Threshs calf. He screams out in pain, and spasms on to the floor.

"Yeah, how do you like that 11?" Marvel rips open Threshs chest next, then his face, and his arm. "Hurts don't it?" Thresh glares into Marvels eyes, refusing to let go. He won't show his pain to someone like Marvel, a monster. "Last words?"

* * *

"_I wouldn't want you to even take part! The games, they did something to me, I'll never be the same. I wouldn't want that fate for anyone." Theron lets out a gasp._

_"How could you say that? The Games are the most important thing in the world! Everyone wants to be in them!" Theron sputters._

"_Sweetie, don't ruin his dreams. You and I both know that Theron would do very well." He grabs our son by the arms and gets out of bed. "Time to brush your teeth. Go find your sister and brother." He gently pushes Theron out the door and closes it. "So, where were we?"_

_Cato climbs into bed and starts to kiss me again. I turn away from him._

"_When did we have kids… when did we get married? Where are my sister and mother?" I have too many questions._

_Cato lets out a deep sigh._

"_Are we really going to go through this again Katniss? I don't want to hurt you, but you know how discussing… them… brings back so many bad memories. And what do you mean, how could you forget when we got married and had our kids? We definitely went too hard last night…. Just relax Katniss, you don't have to worry about anything, not anymore. Relax."_

_"No Cato, tell me, now."_

_Cato wipes sweat off of his brow._

_"Well, after we won, Snow came to us. Remember? There were so many emotions going through the Districts then... He told us to think of something, or our family members would die one by one. I was willing to do something... unfortunately, you weren't. Thats what happened to Prim and your mother." __I start to cry. "After that, he threatened to starve District 12. He did Katniss, he starved them for months. So many people died. So many young children. You finally gave in." Cato is noticeably struggling to tell this story. "I don't know why you want me to tell you this. It took us so long to get you to forget."_

_Cato hugs me, my body eases up and I cry into his shoulder. I push the horrible memories from my mind, I become my old self again._

"_I really do love you Cato, what would I do with out you?"_

"_Die of boredom." He kisses me. "And lack of sex." _

_I laugh, so does he._

* * *

Thresh thought about what his last words would be.

"Yeah, see you in hell."

"God, you are so cliché. Do you know how many times I've heard that this _week_ so far?" Marvel deals the fatal blow and turns to Katniss. A canon goes off. "You are too much fucking trouble." He slings her over his shoulder and makes his way over to the cornucopia; it will be a long walk.

**- A few hours later -**

"Where the fuck have you been?" Cato screams at Marvels emerging figure.

"_I_ have done your dirty work. _I_ got your precious little girl on fire. I've been doing everything for you!"

Cato looks Marvel up and down, zoning in on Katniss who is unconscious over his shoulder.

"What have you done to her?"

"I didn't do _anything_, she's been this way since I got her, been going in and out of consciousness this whole time. If it makes you feel better, she moaned your name about ten times." Cato's intrigued by what Marvel has said, did Katniss secretly want him after all? "Now, you know what I want."

"Get me Peeta too, that was the deal."

"Yeah? Well I don't know where he is, so why don't you hand Glimmer over already and we'll call it even."

Cato struts over to Marvel and traces his jaw with the jagged edge of a knife. He presses the edge into Marvels cheek, drawing blood.

"Look Marvel, I don't have time to go looking around for the boy. I have something you want, but she wont be alive for much longer if you don't bring me Peeta too." Marvel bites back a sarcastic retort. "I'll carve her up faster than you can say her _name_."

"Dear God, when I get back I will kill you, and _her_. She has been so much trouble, what did you even _see_ in her?"

"You better take that back if you know what's good for you."

Marvel throws Katniss to the ground.

"Or what? Gonna kill me? All right Cato let's go, I'd like to see you try."

"I was hoping that we could have done this more... civilly. But there aren't many of us left, so maybe it _is_ time to get rid of you." Cato circles Marvel, picking up an ax off the ground. "I hate to make things… messy. I've done some bad things in my life, and I _like_ doing bad things. I'm not about to stop now. We may have been friends through this, but that wont change the way you're going to die, which, by the way, is going to be nauseating."

Marvel draws his sword out and is ready to start the fight.

"How about we stop talking." Marvel sneers.

"Oh I'm going to fucking enjoy this."

The two run at each other.

Marvel swings his sword at Cato but the ax blocks it, they struggle to unlock the weapons, and neither wants to let their guard down. Cato brings his ax up and swings at Marvels head, narrowly missing. Marvel rolls to the ground trying to take out Catos feet, but he jumps up and kicks Marvel in the stomach.

Marvel is spitting up blood again but scrambles to his feet, still managing to hold onto his sword. He lets out a war cry, sword in the air, and attempts to bring it down on Catos left side. Cato ducks and nicks Marvels flank. It only slows Marvel by milliseconds.

Cato starts to swing his ax in an 'eight' formation, then reels his weapon back and lets go. Marvel begins to run away but the ax is too fast and embeds itself into Marvels right shoulder.

"Aghh." Marvel falls to the ground, and tries to crawl away. Cato walks over and rips the ax and a chunk of flesh out of Marvels shoulder. He brings up the weapon, ready to bring it down on Marvels neck. But Cato starts to feel a rumbling through the ground.

"What the f-" The ground starts to break under Cato. Marvel brings out a knife he had hidden and stabs Cato in the lower stomach. "Son of a bitch." Cato touches his side and blood adorns his fingers. Pieces of the ground are falling into the newfound hole, and it is rapidly expanding.

Marvel jumps on Cato and pushes him to the ground; they both begin struggling for the upper hand. Cato grabs Marvel by the collar and swings him around until he hits the floor, then kicks him in the jaw multiple times.

It is clear that both tributes are getting tired, and it is hard for them to fight with such critical wounds.

They can't keep dodging punches forever.

The hole has expanded to the size of a large house, and it shows no signs of stopping its growth.

"Just." Kick. "Die." Kick. "Already!" Cato looks over to Katniss, still passed out next to the cornucopia.

Marvel grabs Catos leg so that he loses his footing, falling to the ground right beside Marvel, they wrestle with each other until they are inches from the edge of the hole.

Marvel punches Cato in the face and throws him over the edge.

* * *

"_Cato?" He kisses my temple. "How did we win, the Games I mean. Can you tell me again? I know you told me what happened to my family... but i want to know the whole story."_

"_It wasn't easy. There have never been two victors before. We were a first." He kisses me again. "When it came down to it, you killed… him. That's how we won."_

"_Him?"_

"_You know… your district partner, we haven't spoken his name since I don't know, a decade ago. It's been so many years, his name was Peeta, I think."_

"_Peeta." Images of blonde hair and bread flash through my mind. "I remember Peeta."_

_Cato cuddles me, bringing me closer to him. He rocks me back and forth._

"_Shh. I know, it's hard to think about him. The tributes from your district are always the hardest to think about. I think about Clove all the time."_

"_Peeta loved me." I whisper. "I loved him too." I pause. "But in a different way, not like I love you." I adjust my head so that it rests on Catos chest. "How exactly did he die?"_

"_I'm sorry Katniss, I just can't remember. I haven't watched the footage in a while. With the Games coming up they will start plating footage from Games past, you can watch it there. As for me, I focus on the present not the past. If I thought about what happened to us all those years ago on a daily basis I'd go crazy. Wouldn't want to end up like your old mentor Haymitch."_

* * *

Cato grabs the edge and hauls himself halfway over. The hole had an infinite depth, if you were to peer over it you could see no ending, just blackness. Cato grabs Marvels foot and drags it closer and closer to the hole, Marvel is unable to shake Cato from him, no matter how much he kicked. He slips over the edge but manages to hold on by one hand just like Cato. The earth is shattering all around them and it's just a matter of time before they are swallowed up by it.

Both tributes had an equal chance of dying. Both are hanging on by threads to the edge of the hole. Both are critically wounded. Both have something to fight for. But only one had someone who could save him.

A hand grasps Catos, and then another, they ever so slowly pulls him from certain death.

Cato rolls over onto his back, panting from his latest struggle. He could hear Marvel cry out as he finally fell to his death. The canon was almost inaudible over the rumbling of the earth.

"You, you are _definitely_ not what I expected. You could have just killed me, would have been easier."

"I don't get some sick satisfaction from death like you do. Where?"

Cato nods to the cornucopia.

* * *

"_Do you remember how we fell in love?"_

"_You were wooed by my charming ways." Cato smirks. "To be honest, we didn't get along at first, but you warmed up to me." _

"_I think I remembered you being sort of a dick." I laugh._

"_We all have our shortcomings. I think the moment that you fell in love, it was a few months after the Games. But of course it didn't matter what we felt anyway, Snow decided our fate."_

* * *

"Katniss, Katniss _wake up_." Peeta shook Katniss, trying desperately to make her respond.

**(switches back to first person now)**

"Wha- what? Where am I? Peeta?" I get up, how did I get here? "I was with the District 11 tributes', that's the last thing I remember." I look around.

How long was I out? It seemed like I had spent my whole life in that dream. And it's horrible; I didn't want to leave it. A life with Cato, would it have been so bad? When I was with him, I felt happy. I was the happiest that I had ever been. We had _kids, _albeit in my dream i didnt know who they were, but still. I wish I could go back to sleep right now and replay everything that just happened. I wish.

"Marvel took you here, killed the tributes." Cato limps over. "It's just us three now." An evil smile spreads across his face. "And oh do I have plans for you."

"Where's Glimmer?"

"I got rid of her a while ago, the fool didn't even know, thought she was alive the whole time. He was supposed to get you, and… your District partner for me. I was going to off Marvel later on, but there was a change of plans."

"So _Cato_, what _are_ your plans?" My head is throbbing.

"It's simple, I'm just going to kill you two." Both of our jaws drop. "Oh don't look at me like that, we all knew it was going to come down to this eventually. I must thank you though Peeta, you made my job a lot easier by coming _to _me. Bad move helping me out though."

Peeta jumps on top of me, shielding my body with his, half thinking that Cato wouldn't really go through with it. But he does go through with is, he sliced through Peeta so easily, its like he didn't even have bones. The sick bastard laughed. The canon goes off, and I know its done. Peeta isn't here anymore and he isn't coming back. All the laughs we shared, the memories we made, all for nothing. I was just talking to him, not even a minute ago. I even saw him draw his last breath.

Peeta falls off of me and I scramble to get away from Cato. He lets me run, slightly limping slowly behind me. My arms are flailing through the grass, searching for my bow.

"That's right Katniss, look for your bow." Cato is now _noticeably_ limping; the bloodstain on his shirt is getting bigger and I can tell he is trying to hold back the look of pain on his face. He has suffered a considerable amount of blood loss, its only a matter of time.

I grab a rock and throw it at Cato, he dodges his head. I throw another one that hits him in the chest, he isn't even fazed.

He threw the bow here! I remember he did, it was somewhere over-.

"Looking for this?" I whip around to a bow and arrow pointed at me, he releases.

"Prim…"

I feel a sharp sudden pain and my head starts to throb again, I fall to the ground, and just before I'm about to close my eyes I can see Cato fall too.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to announce…"

* * *

**WOAH. Why did Peeta help Cato up? He wanted Katniss to know he wasnt a killer either. How did he get out of the cave? He crawled out, found some berries and water, thus regaining enough strength after a day to make an attempt to find Katniss.**

**Who won? Well we shall see next chapter ;)**


	18. Eighteen (re-done 05 09 2013)

**You guys, I know that I posted chapter 18 before but the more i read it i didnt like it. sooooo i pretty much changed a ton of it. thats why im posting it again. sorry xoxo dont hurt me please. :) :***

* * *

Bright lights shine down on me, they are blinding me and I am forced to put my hand up to look out into the audience. It's so hot in here, a bead of sweat runs down my brow. I shift a bit to try to cool down.

"Katniss?" Ceaser questioned.

"Pardon?"

"Care to answer the question?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that. Care to repeat it?" I blush.

"I said what are you going to do now?"

"Oh. I-I'm not really sure. Winning the Games, well, you know its one of the greatest things you can accomplish in life." I force a smile. "But under the circumstances of these past Games, it's hard to tell what is going to happen."

"But we know that whatever happens, it will be for the good of all Panem." Cato takes my hand. "Anything."

* * *

**(flashback to before the interview)**

"You know, I didn't think you were going to make it this far Katniss." President Snow whispers. "You didn't just surprise Panem, you surprised _me_." He toys with a rose. "I don't like being surprised."

I am seated next to Cato, both of us are too afraid to talk, let alone breathe. I don't know President Snow well, but I know enough to try and stay quiet.

"Cato on the other hand, I always thought he'd win. I just didn't think he'd bring you along with him. That was the wrong choice, son. Now, what do you think I should do with you two?" The question is directed toward Cato.

"Well, Sir. I, um, you shouldn't _punish_ us for winning. For surprising you." Cato clears his throat. "We weren't trying to start anything."

"_You weren't trying to start anything._" President Snow mocks Cato. "But that's the problem my dear children. You _did_ start something." He starts to pick the petals off the rose. "One by one, the citizens of Panem started to question the Gams. 'Why do we have the Games? What good are they to us?' I can't have that going on in Panem Cato. You see my predicament. What should I do? The girl started something, she created... a spark, an ember. It is spreading too rapidly. I want to put it out _now_. So _what should I do?_"

"I- I don't know sir." For the first time in his life Cato has nothing to say, that's a surprise.

"Luckily for you, I thought of some wonderful options that I have chosen from. I am a very forgiving man, I believe in second chances." He forgot to add the part where he only is forgiving when it benefits him. "I had a long time to think about what I should do with you. I couldn't just… get rid of you, like I had with that poor Game Maker." I gasp, he's not… dead…. is he? President Snow eyes me. "Katniss, lets just say you'd be joining your fallen tributes." Tears start to form in m eyes.

"The Games need to end! All you're doing is killing innocent pe-" Cato squeezes my hand, signaling for me to stop.

"But that's just it Katniss!" President Snow paces around our chairs. "I need to beat that _exact_ thought out of everyone's mind!" He grabs me by my shoulders and I am on the verge of tears. "The Games have a purpose, _everything has a purpose._" President Snow composes himself. "I toyed around with four options I could think of. The first option was to kill one of you in a public execution, at the hands of the surviving tribute. I quite liked that one, but the backlash, I didn't want to risk it. Panem thrives on your comical romance, it gives them hope. Getting rid of one of you, or even both, would not get rid of the hope I so desperately want to crush. The second option was for you two to produce a child together. You wouldn't get to keep it for long though, it would be thrown into the arena as soon as it turned eighteen. The kicker is that the child would be pitted against twenty three other tributes alone. The tributes would not be able to kill each other until they killed your child. The third option, this one is a personal favorite. You know you two are exceptionally handsome young adults, the price for a night with you would be astronomical." The president runs his hand through my hair and I shudder. "That one is used too often though, I have many victors already in that position. Finnick is a favorite among the clients." The president sighs. "And finally the fourth option, I'll let you go back to your districts unharmed. But that offer will not be extended to your family members. Anyone you have ever loved, or has ever loved you will perish. Not to mention that your district will not get its tesserae for the following year. You will live a life of pure misery, I will personally make sure of that."

Cato is visibly upset next to me, none of these options benefits us in any way. Anything the president picks harms us, or our families. We are out of the arena for not even twenty minutes and our lives are already in danger again.

"My plan for you two is quite simple. I will show you off to Panem as cowards. The districts who loved you will slowly learn to hate you. Don't worry, you'll still live the life of luxury, you'll still be celebrities among the Capitol. But outside of the Capitol, you will no longer be their hero, and when your child comes of age they will beg for it to die. They will beg for the cowards' child to die."

So he has chosen for us to procreate. I eye Cato, he is just looking at his hands. I knew he wanted me, but I don't think he wanted his children to suffer. I look out of a window, to think that I will be forced to conceive with a monster, and then send that innocent child into the place I so desperately tried to escape.

"Yes I think I will enjoy my choice very well."

"What if I don't go along with your sick plan?" I spit my words out.

"I will not only kill your families but I will wipe out District 12 Katniss." A crooked smile spreads across his face. "I know that you are too good of a person to kill your family, let alone your district."

"You're bluffing."

"If you'd like, I will let you find out the hard way. You can ask Haymitch how serious I am about the consequences to your actions. He once had a family too, you know." My mouth hangs open. "Your job is simple Katniss. I have chosen the option I think will work to my advantage the best, and you are to carry it out. You will become pregnant and carry the child to term, and then all you have to do is raise it to become a killing machine. When the time comes I will take your child, and you can watch it struggle to survive. Eighteen years can't come soon enough."

"They won't go along with it." I am referring to Panem.

"Yes they will. They think they will be making a choice but they really won't. Your fate is already sealed. You will be interviewed in approximately ten minutes. During your interview Ceasar will bring to light all of your flaws, then he will give Panem the options I had just explained to you. He will tell them that it's a public vote, they will think they are in control, but in reality they never were."

President Snow sends us off, neither of us say another word to each other; Cato can hardly even look me in the eye.

"May the odds be ever in your favor." I can hear the president shout down the hall.

* * *

**(back to the present)**

"Ah, yes. Who could forget about your romance?" Ceasar half smiles. "Though, during the Games it didn't really seem like you were too in love. Relationship troubles?" Ceaser laughs and elbows Cato.

"You could say that. It's a struggle to live with this one!" Cato puts his arm around my shoulder. "We fought, but don't all couples fight? Sometimes we hurt each other but really we didn't mean anything that happened during the Games."

"It's funny you say that Cato. Well, I'd like to call to attention something _you_ said during the Games to Katniss, something that to me didn't sound like a joke." Cato shifts around. "You said, and I quote_. 'You fucking bitch! When I get my hands on you…' _Care to elaborate on this?"

"Ah, Ceasar. You've caught me during a bad time! Katniss had just… disposed… of my closest friend. All of my emotions were intense at that time, I took my anger out on Katniss but I know that she had to do what she had to do. We all have to kill, eventually. Isn't that what the Games are all about?"

"Yes. Well that theme seemed to run throughout the Games, I'm being honest with you, it seemed like you hated her. Better watch out Katniss! This one has quite the temper!"

"Oh Ceaser you don't have to tell me, I am well versed with Cato's temper tantrums. But that's what I love about him!" I bite my lip.

"Katniss, something I'd like to discuss with _you_. We all know that you scored a one during training." My head hangs slightly in shame. "You managed to survive because of the generosity of others, mainly Cato and the tributes from District 11."

"Well Ceasar the circumstances…" I am suddenly cut off.

"You, compared to Cato, are perceived to be weak. The odds were most certainly not in your favor at one in two hundred chances of winning. To be truthful I don't know how you survived. You made what, one kill? Two? Half the time you were running around or clinging to someone. Weak. Very weak. You acted cowardly in the Games." My eyes go wide, just like rehearsed.

"Now Ceaser…" Cato is cut off too.

"And _you_ Cato. You are one of the most self-absorbed, incompetent tributes that I have ever seen. I am just a tad bit surprised you didn't manage to kill yourself! You have a rage like no other, you could have used it for so many things! Instead of doing something productive you chased after _this one_ the entire time! Together you produced some of most entertaining _yet_ pathetic Games to this date."

"But…"

"Katniss, refrain from speaking, please." He puts his hand up to silence me. I pretend that I am in utter shock that Ceaser would do this to us, plastering a look of despair on my face. "The _only_ thing that will satisfy us, and I think we are all in agreement are we not? Is a public _voting_ on what to do with you two disgraces." I flinch at his words.

We were put on this stage for a show, a punishment. I want to know what we did wrong so badly! I never did anything to defy Panem, and neither did Cato. So why are they so out to get us? Why are they trying to humiliate us and make us the laughing stalk of the Games? Why is the President so set on hurting us? What is it that we really did to deserve this?

"What kind of voting are we talking about Ceasar?" I pretend I don't even know.

Ceasar turns to the audience, addressing them.

"Everyone in Panem will have a say in what we do with this years victors, usually the victor gets to go home to a life of luxury. But this year, since we have the pleasure of two victors, we will add a little twist. Ladies and gentlemen, take into account the way they performed during the Games. There is Cato, the strong and raging bull. And then there is Katniss, the weak yet clever girl. They have a romance, a questionable one, but a romance none the less." He pauses to cough. "You will have four options to choose from. The **first option**, we kill one of them in a public execution. Whichever one we don't choose will carry out the task at hand. The **second option**, they will produce a child that, when it turns eighteen, will compete in the Games against twenty three tributes, alone. If the child manages to survive against the tributes, then you know what happens. But if the child is killed then the Games will revert back to its normal format of everyone against each other. The **third option**, we turn them into… well, anything you want them to be. Sold to the highest bidder, to do whatever you wish with. And finally the **fourth option**, we let them simply go on their way to live a normal victors life in their respective districts separately, but all immediate family members will be executed the next day and their District shall receive no tesserae the next year. The choice is in your hands, Panem."

I abruptly stand up and storm off the stage, so what? I don't care what anyone thinks about me at this point. It's not like they can _actually_ decide our fate, its already been chosen for us. I can hear Cato running after me.

"Katniss stop!" He grabs me and brings me in to a hug, but I just hit him in the chest.

"Get off of me Cato! Stop touching me! We aren't in the Games anymore you cant pull this on me! I don't care what President Snow says, you aren't going to lay another finger on me!"

"Katniss you need to stop! You're panicking, so am I, but its going to be alright. It worked out in the end of the Games, didn't it?

"I could hardly survive without my bow, I had nothing! The shit I had to put up with!"

"You ran! You ran from your problems! It was never about the bow Katniss, but you could never get past that!" He grabs my wrists.

"I'm not running from my problems!" I step back, yanking my wrists from his grasp.

"What are you gonna run from me too?" He grabs my arm and pulls me back in. "You can't run from me anymore. We're in this together now!"

"I can do whatever I want! Who are you to tell me? Huh Cato? _Who are you to tell me_?"

"I don't know if you are aware of this right now Katniss, but they can kill us. _They will kill us_. So lets keep up the romance act so they _don't._ If they think we aren't really in love, what's to stop them from killing one of us? That's the thing Katniss, I'm worried too. I don't want to die either! If we don't do what he says we are both going to die."

"But if I go along with it an innocent child will die. _Our_ innocent child."

"And if you don't then thousands are going to die. What we are going to do will save everyone."

"It will save everyone, but _one_. I don't even know why I am trying to talk to you right now, as far as I remember, you tried to kill me not too long ago. You shot me in the neck you fucking bastard."

"Katniss, of course I had to fucking shoot you! You didn't think they were going to let us both out if I didn't? We had to _both_ be so hurt that we were _both_ going to die. Two victors are better than none! That's why they're doing this. It's because I _saved_ you. That's right, big bad Cato saved _you_. Yeah, if I didn't save you they wouldn't be so pissed right now, but I did it because you're mine and I don't want you to die. A thank you would be much appreciated."

"Well, I-I didn't know that ok? But that still doesn't change anything! You're still the most evil person I know. The way you killed Peeta? You did it like it was nothing, I feel sick even looking you in the eyes." I let out all the air in my lungs. "The choices we have made, they're not just going to impact us, they're going to impact everyone. And for the record, I will never be yours."

"It's not the first time you've said that."

I hear Ceasar in the back telling the world that voting will open at midnight. I wonder what the public would choose if their vote actually mattered.

I look down at my shoes. Everything is Catos fault, why couldn't he just kill me, why did he have to tag me along in whatever sick game he is playing. Shot me in the neck, I don't think I will ever get over that.

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I'm going to do a poll just like in the story! haha! But its not going to affect what I am going to do for the upcoming chapters I'm just curious!** Go to my profile and you will see a link to the poll! :) vote pleaseeeeee.**


	19. Nineteen

**thanks for the reviewssssss**

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"Katniss, say something."

"No."

"That counts as saying something."

I stare into open space and bring my knees to my chin. I wipe my tears with my free hand and then bury my face back into my legs.

"Can't you just leave me alone Cato?" I sniff.

"Katniss you have to do this, there's no way around it. If you don't then I will have to force you, and you wont like it."

"You don't care about how I feel, you never did. Stop playing the nice guy card."

"Oh you want me to stop?" He crosses the room and roughly grabs my shoulder pushing me down onto my bed.

"Stop!" I cry out frantically, trying to roll off of the bed.

"You wanted me to be the bad guy Katniss, this is me being the bad guy." Cato rips off my shirt exposing my bare chest. He hungrily licks his lips. "I like being the bad guy."

"No Cato I'm not ready, please stop!" I scream out, I try to fold my arms over my chest but Cato pins down one of my wrists with his free hand. "I'm begging you!"

"Katniss, you haven't let me touch you these last three weeks. It's been excuse after excuse and quite frankly you've run out of excuses. Snow is getting impatient. I have to sleep with you _eventually_. I'm actually surprised I haven't done this sooner."

"Please! I only need a little more time! I'm not ready yet!" I plead with him.

Cato pauses, eyes my half naked body. I smile spreads across his face.

"You're a virgin aren't you? That's it, that's why you don't want me to touch you. You're afraid." He grabs my breast.

"What?" I slap Cato across the face, it doesn't even faze him. "That's none of your concern _Cato_." I push his hand off of me.

"I always had my suspicions…. You've actually made me very excited, I'll be the first one to have you…"

"Cut it out Cato I said _no_. What is this? A competition to see who can have a piece of me first? What's next? Are you going to _rape_ me to get what you want?"

"Stop making this into that! I have to do this Katniss its my duty. When President Snow says to do something you do it. My family is on the line too and I will not let you jeopardize their lives because you have first time jitters."

"You offend me Cato. I don't have to have to be pregnant for a while. Why can't I just be left alone for a few more weeks? We start our victory tour soon, the 'vote' will become public and we will _then _start… trying."

"You have to be pregnant _now_ not later, I am tasked with the duty of getting you pregnant and it's going to happen now."

"No I don't have to be pregnant now!" I can't believe I am arguing with him half naked on my bed.

"He knows." I eye him. "He knows we haven't slept together, he sent me a message today saying if I didn't get it done he would first kill my mother, and then he would kill yours too." My eyes widen. "Yeah, its real Katniss, there's no escaping it anymore. We are getting this done _tonight_."

"Stop saying that! I don't want to do this Cato! You're a monster and I don't want you touching me. It shouldn't be you that has that privilege! I want… I want to be with someone who loves me, and all you want to do is control me!"

"Is that such a bad thing?" Cato pulls his shirt over his head and tosses it aside. His hungry lips press down on mine, and our bare chests are touching.

I protest at first, refusing to submit to his kisses. Pretty soon there are so many that I get lost and before I know it he has my pants off. I start squirming.

"Please stop struggling Katniss, you will only hurt yourself in the end."

My chest is heaving and I try to look for a place to escape.

"What you're doing is wrong, you know I can't do anything to stop you. You're taking advantage of me." Tears are streaming down my face.

"Sex doesn't have to be something scary, or a _duty_, it can be enjoyable and pleasurable. In fact that's how it is for pretty much every one else. I've been told I'm one of the best in bed, you will enjoy yourself, trust me." He hops out of bed and locks the bedroom door.

"Cato…"

"Katniss."

* * *

I wake up to a bright sunny day; Cato is nowhere to be found. I decide to stay curled in a fetal position for the rest of the day. I feel violated, my entire body was violated last night. I wasn't ready but it didn't matter at all to Cato, to Snow. But I can't really be upset with Cato can I? He tried to give me space and let me prepare myself mentally, I commend him for respecting me that much. Cato is a pawn in this game too, only he _liked_ touching me, and exploring my most intimate places. At first it was painful, and humiliating. After a while the pain lessened and it became pleasurable. But that was only physically, mentally I wanted him to stop and I wanted to run out of the room and hide my head in shame.

Days start to pass and I never leave my bed. I only get up to use the bathroom. Servants bring me food but I always eat half and leave the rest at the end of my bed for them to take away.

Surprisingly Cato has stayed away and left me to suffer by myself. I want him to be here and hold me and tell me it's going to be ok in the end. I'm afraid of what Snow will do to me if I'm not pregnant soon. I'm only eighteen, freshly turned. I don't have the mental capacity to deal with this. Cato inadvertently made me feel horrible, but he's right. It had to be done. He's the only one now who can relate to me and just be there for me. Now that he's had me, he's nowhere to be found. He remind me of some boys from the seam, they knock girls up and then seem to disappear forever.

I roll over in bed and bring a blanket around my shoulders to completely encase me. Prim wouldn't want me to be this way. I wish I could see her and hold _her_ in my arms. I haven't even been in the same room as Prim since she saw me off a few months ago.

She's why I wanted to with the Games so badly, how ironic that I won't be seeing her for a very long time.

There's a knock on the door, I use all the energy I have left to turn my head towards the door. Slowly it opens and Catos head pops out.

"Hey." He steps through the entryway. "How are you doing?"

"How do you think?" I huff. I turn my head back to the other side.

"Look, I'm sorry I hurt you, I really am."

"Yeah." There are bruises still, spread across my body.

"I don't want to make you get out of bed but I have to. There's a doctor here to see you, to see if you… well you know."

"Oh." Its been around two weeks since we did the deed, the doctor had to come around eventually.

I don't bother dressing, or fixing my hair, or making myself look presentable in any way. I sluggishly get out of bed and follow Cato to the kitchen.

"You must be Katniss, I am Doctor Brown." She goes to shake my hand, but I don't offer it to her. She awkwardly brings her hand to her side. "Yes, well you know why I am here." I nod. "I'm going to need you to urinate on this." She hands me a pregnancy test. "It's a stick that you urinate on and it…"

"I know what a pregnancy test is." She thinks I'm stupid. I don't blame her though… most of District 12 doesn't have anything fancy to tell you if you're pregnant. You kind of just find out. Its too expensive to buy a test and most would rather spend the money on food.

"I'm also going to have to take a sample of your blood." My hand instinctively goes to my arm. "It's just to make sure, the test isn't always right." I nod again.

Cato is just standing in the corner watching the whole process.

She sends me to the bathroom and I do as I am told. Now it's just a waiting game.

Minutes pass but it feels like forever. All eyes are glued on that goddamn test.

I feel like I shouldn't be surprised by the results but I am, a part of me is crushed and I cry out.

"Negative." She whispers. "Not to worry! I will take a sample of your blood to confirm with the lab, you'll know the final results within the next few hours."

She packs up her things after taking my blood and leaves in a quick hurry. She reminded me of what President Snow wants as she left. Not that I needed to be reminded.

Cato puts his hand on my shoulder, I want to push him away but I don't. I allow myself to feel comforted by him.

I feel like my life is falling apart.


End file.
